Breakthrough Labels to Create a Modern Society

DR JOHN DEMARTINI   -   Updated 3 months ago

Discover why Dr Demartini believes that judgment, prejudice and projected labels are more of a reflection of YOU than of others, and how you can transcend them.

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DR JOHN DEMARTINI - Updated 3 months ago



In all probability, you have heard someone close to you describe another person using strong emotive language:

"My mother was always strict and never trusting."

"My father was never there for me."

"My boss is so critical and finds fault with everything I do."

"My colleague is completely unreliable yet claims all the credit when our team performs well."

As you are likely to appreciate, the above statements contain broad generalizations that have been projected onto other people. Instead of being more reasonable, believable and the objective truth, the comments above reflect a subjective biased distortion of what that individual actually PERCEIVES is going on.

Click below for the video of this article. ↓

Here is what I believe to be more accurate:

When you are emotional, you tend to exaggerate your subjectively b
In all probability, you have heard someone close to you describe another person using strong emotive language:
  • "My mother was always strict and never trusting."
  • "My father was never there for me."
  • "My boss is so critical and finds fault with everything I do."
  • "My colleague is completely unreliable yet claims all the credit when our team performs well."

As you are likely to appreciate, the above statements contain broad generalizations that have been projected onto other people. Instead of being more reasonable, believable and the objective truth, the comments above reflect a subjective biased distortion of what that individual actually PERCEIVES is going on.

Click below for the video of this article. ↓

JUMP TO VIDEO

Here is what I believe to be more accurate:

When you are emotional, you tend to exaggerate your subjectively biased state and project your misperceptions onto people that are not necessarily objectively true. As a result, you may experience or displays signs of prejudice, and exaggerate or minimize their behavior, instead of getting to know the individual as they are.

It was President Abraham Lincoln who once stood on the podium at a gala, looked out at the audience from behind the lectern, and pointed to a gentleman saying, 'I don't like this man. In fact, I despise this man.'

Immediately, he noticed a clear division in the room whereby one group unanimously agreed that the gentleman was, indeed, a scoundrel. In contrast, others loudly voiced their support of the gentleman claiming that he was a fine gentleman and did not deserve to be despised.

Once the room had erupted in emotion, President Lincoln again stepped forward and stated, "It just goes to show that I don't know this man. I am certain that when I get to know this man, I will love this man." My view is that the point he was making is that people are likely to  polarize, bias and feel prejudiced against others because of something that is either highly supportive or highly challenging to their own value system.

In other words:

  • If you INFATUATE with someone, you tend to be conscious of their upsides but blind to or ignorant of their downsides.
  • If you are RESENTFUL of someone, you tend to be conscious of their downside and unconscious of the upsides.

As long as you are polarized and not seeing them in their true balanced state,  they are likely to run you so that you react.

In situations such as these, what YOU see in THEM is actually inside of YOU - something you are either too proud or too humble to admit. As such,  you are not reflecting but are instead deflecting.

Whenever you are polarized in your perceptions and deflect, you tend to create labels about people.

All the labels, prejudices, subjective biases, confirmation biases, disconfirmation biases, false positives and false negatives all result in many people in society not seeing what is actually there. Instead, they or you may only see what is FILTERED and PERCEIVED based on the unhealed wounds in your past.

So, how do you transcend the tendency to label people?

If I walked up to you and said to you, "You are always mean, never nice. Always cruel, never kind. Always negative, never positive. Always wrathful, never peaceful," you would likely tell me that I was incorrect.

However, if I said, "Sometimes you are kind. Sometimes you are cruel. Sometimes you are nice. Sometimes you are mean. Sometimes you are positive. Sometimes you are negative," you would likely nod and tell me that I was correct."

You only have certainty when you are truly objective, balanced, and able to see both sides. You are uncertain when you are subjective, biased and skewed in your perception.

Almost all the labels, prejudices, and misinformation we have in our society today are the likely result of these subjective biases. These stem from an amygdala response in the desire center or animal part of the brain that is activated when you are in survival model. Think of the scenario of being out in the wild and seeing prey - an instant adrenaline response would allow you to run after it and catch it. In the same way, seeing a predator and having an instant burst of adrenaline may help you escape and survive. Both of these skewed bias or subjective bias responses have their place in survival, but not necessarily in day-to-day life when you are likely to want to THRIVE, be INSPIRED and POISED in life instead of just SURVIVING.

I am certain that having a biased or prejudiced perception of others does not honor them for who they truly are.

I have been teaching my signature program, the Breakthrough Experience, for over 32 years. During this two-day program, many people indicate that they are highly infatuated or highly resentful of others. I then take them through a series of questions called the Demartini Method to make them conscious of unconscious information that may have led to their subjective labeling of the person.

The Demartini Method is one of the most effective methods to effectively dissolve biases, prejudices, false confirmation and disconfirmation biases, false positives, and false negatives. In this way, you can see the whole individual as they truly are instead of how you perceive them to be.

You would love to be loved for who you are. However, should you be subjectively labelled, you are likely to feel misunderstood and judged instead of being fully known and fully loved for all that you are.

People in society tend to place labels on others when they are not fulfilled.

When people are not engaged at work, not inspired by what they are doing, or not fulfilling their highest values; and they are living in survival mode; and living for their next weekend or vacation, they are most likely to have increased prejudice and subconscious bias.

There is a correlation in socioeconomics between prejudice, racial issues and things of this nature when people are not engaged in what they love doing. When people filled their days with what they are inspired by, function from within their executive center with foresight, are strategic, objective and balanced, they are more likely to spend more time getting to know other individuals by asking quality questions instead of making subjectively biased assumptions.

In doing so, they will tend to have reflective awareness and realize that other human beings comprise all the traits, just like they do.  Your relationship with others has much to do with how well you can reflect and find what you see in others inside of you.

One of the greatest questions in life is: "What specific trait, action, or inaction do I perceive in them that I admire or despise most, and where do I perceive it in me?"

When you can fully comprehend that you have the same traits that you see in others - those that you may perceive to be negative and those you may perceive to be positive - you are more able to reflect and relate to those individuals and have a conversation that is both objective and meaningful. However, as long as you operate in survival mode, feel threatened by challenge or infatuated by support, and polarize your perceptions as a result, you are most likely to be trapped in this labelling prejudice mechanism, as well as racial, gender issues and cultural issues.

These are SURVIVAL responses in addition to THRIVAL responses. 

Suppose you fill our day with the highest priority actions that are deeply meaningful to you and get the blood, glucose and oxygen flowing into your forebrain where you are more objective, neutral, resilient, and adaptable. In that case, you are more likely to transcend the labels you project onto people in modern society; instead of being trapped in a survival mentality where you are now living by what is truly most valuable to you.

It may be helpful to think back to a day when you focused on high priority actions and managed your time effectively. You likely felt on top of the world because you accomplished everything you had set out to do that day. When you arrived home later that day, you are likely to have felt inspired, resilient and adaptable and able to handle any challenge that came your way.

Now think back to a day when you hit the ground running, put out unexpected and unintended fires all day, and never managed to get around to the highest priority actions. As a result, you may have returned home feeling drained, projective and more likely to be biased and generate labels. As I mentioned earlier, in this state you are more likely to be in survival mode in your amygdala instead of operating out of your forebrain or executive center.

Your amygdala is a polarizer that generates addictions to fantasies and tries to avoid nightmares. As such, it polarizes people and events to more and more extremes.

Exaggerated labels, prejudice, gender issues, and other polarized behaviors result from within you when you are not inspired, engaged, and fulfilled by doing what you love in life.

I have spent the last 32 years teaching the Breakthrough Experience and doing whatever I can to assist people in prioritizing their life, and learning a set of tools and questions to help them transcend these biases. In this way, they are more likely to become inspired by life and realize that every human being is worthy of love.

Nobody is worth putting on pedestals or pits. Instead, they are worth putting in your heart.

Until you can transcend your subjective biases and labels, people on the outside are likely to run your life because anything you infatuate with or resent, anything that you seek or avoid, runs you.

However, once you get to an objective and balanced state where you are no longer polarized, YOU run your life. And, when you run your life, you are less likely to create and project labels.

So, in our modern society, the ability to transcend these labels simply boils down to how well you can see and prioritize your actions and prioritize your perceptions.

It is wise to:

  • Fill your day with the highest priority actions. You will have less probability of being prejudiced, biased and subjective.
  • Take whatever happens in your life and ask, "How is it helping me fulfill my highest values?" By doing so, you will decrease the probability of generating prejudice, labels, and polarities.
  • Own all the traits - both in yourself and in others. Be mindful that what you see in them is also in you.
  • Acknowledge that prejudice and bias are a byproduct of not being inspired in your life, not living by priority, and projecting false ideals and fantasies onto people.
  • Honor yourself with reflective awareness, and free your mind up by finding whatever you see in others inside yourself.
  •  Permit yourself to honor all parts of yourself and all aspects of other people. We are all  homo-sapiens - any other distinctions are trivial.

In doing so,  you will free yourself free of the labels because those labels are not truths, and every human being is worthy of love.

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Breakthrough Labels to Create a Modern Society

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