The Power to Change Your Clients Lives in Every Session

Challenge:
Facing death from terminal cancer

Background:
Ilze was diagnosed with gallbladder cancer in 2022 and had exhausted all possible treatment pathways. She’d been advised by her oncologist that there was nothing more that they could medically do and that her hospice care team would now focus on pain management until she passed, which was estimated to be no more than 2 months away. Ilze booked a consultation to assist her to process her emotions around her passing.

Action Taken:
A 2 hour session was conducted to assist Ilze process her anxiety around dying. She was fearful of what the physical experience would be while dying, from experiencing pain, nausea and losing her physical strength and dignity. She was also fearful of leaving her children, grandchildren and husband behind. She also had a number of projects that she wanted to be able to complete in the future.

During the consultation, the Demartini Method’s Death Preparation Protocol was used to process Ilze’s fears relating to each itemized physical challenge she was concerned she might experience in the coming weeks. She found the equal benefits of each experience until she no longer felt anxiety at the thought of experiencing it.

The Demartini Method was also used to help Ilze see the downside of all the future positive attachments that were binding for her. She saw the drawbacks of building the foundation she perceived she wanted to build, the downside of being at her son’s wedding and the benefits to her family if she passed before the wedding, she saw the downside of participating in all the relationships that were meaningful for her and the benefits to all the people she loved of her passing.

Ilze balanced out all her perceptions to her future attachments, cleared all her fears in relation to the potential physical experiences she might face and upon seeing the order, she declared that she was ready to pass.

Outcome:
Following the session, Ilze reported that she felt an inner peace about her pending death and that the fears she’d felt were no longer dominating her thoughts. That she was able to spend time with her family appreciating the time she had left.

Conclusion:
Ilze’s case highlights the power of balancing the mathematical equation of perception to transform anxiety and fear when facing death. By using the Demartini Method to dissolve her anxiety and fear, Ilze was able to clear her emotions and return her mindset to gratitude.

Challenge:
Clearing Grief

Background:
Charne, a 37 year old woman, had lost her mother to cancer 1 month prior. She was very close to her mother and her passing left her feeling in her words ‘debilitated by grief’. She had her own business, 2 kids and a husband and found herself struggling to juggle the demands of her life while feeling overwhelmed with grief. Charne booked a consultation to assist her to clear her emotions around her mother’s passing.

Action Taken:
A 3-hour session was conducted to assist Charne process her grief. She identified 13 aspects of her mother that she perceived that she missed. We listed them in priority order from what she missed most to least.

During the consultation, the Demartini Method’s Grief Protocol was used to work through her perceptions and to clear each of the 13 aspects she’d listed at the start of the session.

We started with the highest priority trait and found the new forms of what she perceived she was missing. She was then asked to find the drawbacks of each of the moments she perceived her mother displaying the trait until she could see that there were just as many drawbacks to the behavior as what she initially perceived there to be benefits. She was then asked to find the benefits of all the new forms of the trait which she did. As soon as the mathematical equation of her perception was balanced across the 3 questions in relation to the trait, she confirmed that she no longer missed that specific trait in her mother.

She then followed the same steps for each of the 13 traits that she’d listed. At the end of balancing her perceptions for each trait she confirmed again that she no longer missed that trait.

At the end of the 13 traits, once all her perceptions were balanced, all perceptions of grief were dissolved. She had a profound moment of presence and gratitude for both her mother’s life and her passing and could see the perfection of both.

Outcome:
Following the session, Charne reported that her grief was cleared and 3 months after the session she reported that she was amazed that she was able to function without grief from that day forward. She also said she had a friend who’s father had died a year earlier that was still struggling with grief and that she was so grateful that she was not in that emotional space. Being freed up from her feelings of grief enabled her to be present as a mother and wife and to focus on her business again.

Conclusion:
Charne’s case highlights the power of balancing the mathematical equation of perception to transform grief. By using the Demartini Method to dissolve her perceptions of loss, Charne was able to clear her grief and find meaning in her mother’s passing.

Background:
The client is a 36-year-old entrepreneur who became aware of a fear of being around certain potential clients and collaborators. He realized this issue was limiting his business growth and wanted to explore it further.

Action Taken:
We first identified the despised traits in these clients and found specific past experiences with the same perception. The earliest experience seemed to be from secondary school when a boy, A., repeatedly threatened to beat him and pushed him a few times. He was growing up with his grandparents, and when his grandmother saw his emotional state and found out about A., she assured her grandson she would protect him. She went to school, and from that day on, the threats stopped.

Over time, A. was reflected in his clients and collaborators, while his grandmother was reflected in several women he placed his hopes in. One of them was an employee he was advised not to hire, but due to his blind spot, he did, and that led to major problems within the company.

So our goal became to balance two perceptions around that original event using the Demartini Method. On one hand, we aimed to dissolve the resentment and fear linked to A.’s behavior. On the other hand, we aimed to dissolve the admiration and attachment around his grandmother, who solved the challenge for him. We were done in about one hour. We checked and saw there was no fear left in the present context of his business.

Outcome:
The next morning he sent me this message: “You would not believe me if I told you who just gave me a call.” It was A., some 23 years after that moment, while in the meantime they hadn’t known anything about each other. A. discovered my client’s company online, saw his name, and called him to ask if he could become his client!

Constantin asked me how this was even possible, and I remember telling him: “You cannot serve those you don’t love. Clients like A. couldn’t come to you as long as you feared them. By dissolving that fear, you declared you were ready to serve. Life just gave you that proof, almost instantly.” Those stories were entangled, but now, by dissolving the charge, he closed the loop, freeing himself for new levels of accomplishment.

Conclusion:
There are amazing underlying links in our present challenges. Until those links are made conscious and dissolved, they feed a pattern we don’t understand or can’t seem to break. Using the Demartini Method, we can discover such links and balance the perceptions that feed those patterns.

Background:
Tanya and Eric have been married for 17 years and Tanya is having an affair with a much younger man.

Eric feels betrayed and Tanya feels “she had no choice”- that she was driven to be with someone else because Eric's "laziness" and "lack of motivation" were draining her.

Action Taken:
Two consultation sessions were scheduled to help Tanya and Eric resolve the dynamics that were contributing to their challenges.

The first consultation began with an introduction to the Demartini Value Determination Process to help them understand what is most important to them and to highlight the relational dynamics that occur when they don't communicate in each other's values.

After understanding each other's values, they both were able to recognize that they were expecting the other to live according to their values and not honoring each other for who they are.

The second consultation, which was 4 hours in length, involved taking Tanya and Eric through the Demartini Method to further help dissolve the resentment that they were both having towards each other. They both were able to own where they had done the very thing they were judging in the other and were very humbled to see how each other was reflecting what they were disowning with themselves.

Outcome:
Tanya and Eric developed a new appreciation for each other and how they were helping each other grow. They also understood the importance of learning how to communicate in each other's values moving forward.

Eric also realized that he wanted out of the marriage, but did not know how to get out and this affair was a blessing in disguise.

Conclusion
Following these two consultations, additional consultations occurred to support them in collapsing the fears that were in the way of moving forward with a divorce. They both also had individual sessions.

Tanya's sessions focused on collapsing the fantasy she had of "her new partner" so that she could make a decision about whether or not that relationship was truly congruent for her.

Eric's sessions focused on helping him collapse his shame for "not going for it" in life and also discover what he would really love to dedicate his time to now that he understood his values. In the end, they did divorce but not out of resentment but deep appreciation for each other and an understanding that they both simply wanted something different.

Challenge:
Business Plateau

Background:
The client was struggling to overcome a business and financial plateau. Despite having some ideas on how to move forward, she was procrastinating due to significant brain noise and mental fog, which fueled a lack of belief in what was possible and certainty in her capabilities. She also carried significant guilt from a past trauma, believing that because of this, she “shouldn’t be happy, I don’t deserve it.” This inner turmoil was causing conflicts in her relationship and leading to time away from her children, which further amplified her guilt and shame for feeling like a "bad" mother.

Action Taken:
Following this, we engaged in 12 one-on-one consultations focused on using the Demartini Method to process the past trauma where she perceived herself as responsible for a family member’s passing.

We also worked on helping her create certainty in the traits of business figures she admired, creating the certainty that she had what it took to move forward. Additionally, we used the Demartini Method to stabilize the conflicts in her relationship and helped her see the perfection of her role as a mother and wife, dissolving the guilt and shame over her perceived shortcomings and allowing her to embrace the mother she was meant to be.

We also used the Demartini Method to address her relationship with her father, who had been a failed entrepreneur. This experience helped her release a significant amount of guilt and shame related to her perceived lack of performance and shifted her fears and fantasies around failure in her business.

After the initial program, we continued with weekly sessions using the Demartini Method to address the ongoing stresses that arose as she scaled her business. Each session focused on overcoming misperceptions driving mental noise, allowing her to develop clear strategies and systems for business growth. In addition focusing on any fantasies or nightmares that came up for her so she could move forward more objectively.

Outcome:
Once she cleared the guilt and shame associated with her perceived responsibility for the family member’s death, her procrastination dissolved, and she began building and growing immediately. The reduction in household turmoil allowed her to focus on business tasks without risking her family’s well-being.

The ongoing use of the Demartini Method helped her access her own objective center, develop clear strategies and solutions, and set long-term goals. In the 6 years we have been working together this program utilizing the Demartini Method enabled her to grow her business from $8M to $58M annually, with continued expansion and a goal to sell at the 500M mark.

As she continued to dissolve subordinations to external influences, her vision expanded with each session and she continues to see strategies and solutions to move forward.

Conclusion:
This case shows the potential and versatility of the Demartini Method in removing misperceptions, guilt, shame, and pride that block our objectivity and certainty. By dissolving these barriers, the client was able to move past her roadblocks and focus on an authentic life that inspired her, ultimately achieving financial freedom for herself and her family.

Challenge:
Infidelity, Betrayal and Abandonment

Background:
Barbara and Brad had been married three years and had a one-year-old child. Barbara initiated the session when she found out Brad was having an affair with a colleague in the military where they were both employed.

Barbara was angry and ready to divorce Brad. She reported that she “felt betrayed” and perceived he was abandoning their marriage and being disloyal to her while she was home on maternity leave with their firstborn child. But Brad had been feeling abandoned and neglected for some time by Barbara and was now guilting himself about being unfaithful and disloyal to her by how he had coped with it.

Action Taken:
The initial session clarified the details from each of their perspectives and established they were still both committed to their relationship if they could resolve this current challenge. It included collecting their personal histories and significant past traumas and cumulated with an introduction to the Demartini Method and how it is used as a therapeutic approach based on a values perspective in couple communication. Before the next weekly session, both Barbara and Brad were asked to identify and forward copies of their personal highest values after completing the online tool and their life goals.

In the next session, after seeing each other’s values and life goals they were reminded of why they had got married. In subsequent consultations, Barbara realized they each had their own forms of infidelity, betrayal and abandonment. She realized her forms were perceived to be equally challenging by Brad as his were to her. When Brad realized Barbara’s focus on their pregnancy and their child was due to her value of being the first of her several siblings to have a healthy child, his awareness also shifted dramatically of her values.

Both Barbara and Brad were able to recognize they were each expecting the other to live according to their partner’s values. And they were each not honouring and respecting each other for who they are and the values they have created from their past to live their life. When they each could see they had been having different forms of affairs, Brad with his colleague and Barbara with her pregnancy and baby, they evolved a new level of awareness of themselves and each other and their similarities and differences. Their communication shifted immediately as a result. In the tenth and final consultation, both Barbara and Brad were recommitted to their future together.

Outcome:
Barbara and Brad developed a new appreciation and commitment to themselves and each other…and their baby. They understood the importance of learning how to communicate in each other's values moving forward. And, they noted the collegial affair had been a useful, two-sided event that served them well.

Conclusion:
Barbara and Brad arrived angry, confused and laden with guilt because they perceived the other was to blame for their situation. They left realizing their partner and child were learning tools to assist each of them to grow in appreciation for themselves, each other and their new baby.