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Writings and Insights

Written, Audio and Video from Dr Demartini

Relationship Repair Shop


Relationship Repair Shop – What to do if your relationship is headed downhill? You’re fighting all the time, you can’t seem to see eye to eye on things, he isn’t making an effort, you’re upset all the time. How can you try and salvage your relationship when things have deteriorated?
Dr. John Demartini: “It is wise to first determine if the idea of remaining together is based upon a true desire, a fantasy, a relationship by default, a fear of being alone or a true and meaningful connection. Being upset much of the time generally means you have very high or unrealistic expectations for you or the other person. While there is no real need to compromise or sacrifice (a sign of not knowing how to effectively communicate in each others values), I suggest you both first make the effort to truly identify each others values and practice to art of communicating - by using dialogues not alternating monologues. Putting it all out on the table and explain to him what you really would love out of your relationship and vice versa can break the pent up tension and get to underlying issues. This will break down the walls and give you the opportunity to take the next step forward or decide to end amicably.”

Couple Pit Stop – Things are going well in your relationship, but they’re not 100 per cent fine. There are niggling things which are bothering both of you and sometimes you question whether you want to be single again. Your sex life has fizzled and basically you’re just at a stale point in your relationship. How can you liven it up and get that spark back?
Dr. John Demartini: “There is a law called the one and the many. When you have the one, you are looking at the many, and of course when you have the many (dating), you are looking for that sweet old special one. Staying in the relationship generally means you would rather have the one and dream about the many, so appreciate that for what it is. As for your sex life, it is a two way tango. If you want more sizzle rather than fizzle, find out what excites them and go ahead and surprise them. Feeling important does wonders to the blood flow. Then I suggest you be all you can be, yes that means sexually - you will be amazed at how anyone including the one you have will respond.”

Highway to Love Heaven – Everything is great in your relationship. You’re completely in love and happy. However how can you make sure it stays this way? Some advice about how to make sure you don’t put your relationship on cruise control and get complacent would be great.
Dr. John Demartini “When everything feels like it is going smooth in a relationship, it generally means you are both feeling like you are getting what you would love and you feel intimately loved and appreciated for who you truly are. While every relationship will go through its challenging times (to be quite honest you really would not want it any other way), if you continue to communicate clearly and openly about what you both would love, if you appreciate each other rather than try to change each other and you do not compare your relationship to unrealistic fantasies, you both will really be on the highway to a more heavenly and loving relationship.



The Heart of Love Paperback or Audio book.
How to go beyond fantasy to find true relationship fulfillment
The Heart of Love gives step-by-step instructions for linking what's important to you with another person's values so that both of you can feel loved for who you are - not someone else's idea of who you 'should' be. For more information or to order, visit our online store.

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