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DR JOHN DEMARTINI - Updated 3 years ago
You might feel that you are lacking confidence, when you do not honor or recognize where you do already have great self-worth. And the perception that you are lacking self-worth can dishearten or debilitate you at times.
Your self-worth, or calm state of certainty, will spontaneously emerge the moment your goals, intentions and actions are congruent with your highest priorities or values. Any degree of incongruence between your goals and your highest values can be the major downfall to maintaining an empowered state.
"When you are congruent and confident you will walk your talk, not limp your life."
When you set congruent goals you become spontaneously inspired from within to achieve and fulfill your innermost dominant intentions. You become more disciplined, reliable and focused. Then your self-worth will rise while your space and time horizons expand.
Self-worth arises when you have a balanced perception of yourself, your abilities and your situations.
Your key to self-confidence is your congruency of speech, body language and action.
Personality attributes that reflect confidence include poise, an ordered mind, power, presence, certainty of vision, purposefulness and patience. All of these will reflect congruency with your highest values.
What can diminish your self-confidence?
Incongruence between your goals and objectives, and your highest priorities or values can diminish your self-confidence.
You see opportunities and make decisions to what you feel will give you the greatest advantage over disadvantage. You act according to what you feel will fulfill your highest values.
When you set unrealistic expectations that do not align with your highest values, your goals will probably remain unmet and unfulfilled. And this will erode your self-worth!
Remember – not everybody who acts confident is actually feeling only that way. An outward display or exaggeration of confidence is often a cover-up for a lowered self-confidence. This incongruence will eventually be recognized. The very façade that brings the rise will serve the fall.
It is wiser to be centered in between.
Click below for the video of this article. ↓
Areas of high and low self-worth
You have areas of high and low self-confidence, depending on where your priorities, or highest and lowest values lie. Perhaps you are confident in your career, but when it comes to training at the gym, you are quite shy.
Any time that you attempt to excel in an area that is not truly highest in your values, you will lower your self-esteem. When you live according to your lower values you will tend to procrastinate, hesitate and frustrate yourself to do actions that are not important to you. You have another area in your life where you excel, and in this area you will be congruent.
The great news is that self-worth can be awakened.
Your confidence will build momentum as long as you keep your goals in line with your highest values. Whenever you feel a greater self-worth, you will awaken your innate or natural inborn capacities.
So, what do you need to do to awaken an empowered self-worth?
- Set realistic expectations, goals and objectives that are truly aligned with your highest values.
- Take large projects and break them down into smaller and more manageable pieces. Then tackle them one at a time.
Live your own life and do not attempt to live by someone else’s priorities or values to awaken self-confidence.
Always remember: consistent little actions can lead to big dreams!
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