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DR JOHN DEMARTINI - Updated 3 years ago
Seeking a mentor or coach can help you to save time. You don't have to reinvent the wheel. Somebody who has already been down that path, can help you get there quicker.
The thing that makes humans unique is the capacity to go into their forebrains and to have foresight. Humans can learn by thinking in advance and not through trial and error like animals. This speeds up the entire evolvement of life.
One of the greatest things we can do is to stand on the shoulders of giants and to learn from a mentor.
It is very important to make sure that we take the time to get mentorship. If you look at some of the greatest thinkers and leaders in the world, you will see that they all had some form of a mentor, coach, consultant or somebody that they learned from.
“You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” - Charlie Tremendous Jones
The interactions we have with other people and the literature we fill our minds with, can make a difference.
What to look out for when seeking a mentor or a coach
When I was in practice I noticed that many doctors would seek out mentorship when attempting to build a business.
There is wisdom from learning from foresight and not learning from trial and error.
But there’s a pitfall!
Click below for the video of this article. ↓
I noticed that not everybody is able to do or sustain the actions that these consultants would suggest. Where some would follow and immediately go and succeed, there were others who would sometimes feel self defeated.
Why? Because they couldn’t sustain the actions that the consultants would suggest and recommend.
Only a small percentage would excel and do extremely well. Then there were those who would spend money on coaching and never see the return.
So what made the few excel with the help of a coach, consultant or mentor?
It all boils down to how congruent the actions of the coach are with the values of the person that’s striving to build a business.
I have listened to numerous professional consultants all offering slightly different information about how to build a business. I have taken and learned from all of them. Some of them would suggest things I just couldn’t do – it just wasn’t me – and other things that I could do.
The coaches and consultants believed I was not disciplined when I couldn’t do something. They would imply that I didn’t have the drive. Their material works, but I wasn’t following it.
Those of you who have had the same experience will understand what I’m saying. It is important to know that the reason you don’t do what these coaches suggest is because it’s not aligned to your values. You are labeled as lazy, undisciplined and not driven. It is self defeating to believe in those labels, because what they suggest is not congruent with your values.
And so you go to different consultants until you finally find the one who matches. You find someone whose values are aligned with yours.
Seek a mentor or coach who's value system aligns with yours
It’s important to not envy and imitate somebody with a drastically different set of values.
If you’re seeking a coach or mentor, make sure they have a value system that is closely aligned to yours or you will be setting yourself up to fail. Just because somebody is successful doesn’t mean that they will have the values that will lead you to that same form of success.
You need to either shift your values to be able to succeed in their system or you need to find the mentor that aligns more with your values. Otherwise you’ll be beating yourself up thinking there’s something wrong with you when there’s nothing wrong with you.
When you find the right mentor, you will take off.
Change your values to match the objectives of the coach, or change the coach to match the truth of your own values.
If you’re going to get mentorship, coaching or consulting from somebody, don’t just select the person because they’re successful. Select them because they’re successful and they have some alignment with your mission and your values.
Make sure you select your mentorship and a consultant that is truly valuable to you and don’t live in a fantasy about who you are.
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