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DR JOHN DEMARTINI - Updated 2 years ago
In all probability, there have been times in your life where you have felt a little insecure, a little uncertain about stepping forward, taking action, leading the pack, or leading the way in your life.
Other times, you may have felt in command, more certain, and ready to take the bull by the horns.
The question is, why do you have moments of security and other moments of insecurity?
Every human being, including you, has a set of priorities or set of values in your life.
Whatever is HIGHEST on your list of priorities, values, or whatever is most important in your life is where you tend to gather the most information.
Your brain is set up as an information sourcing and integrating organ.
Your brain takes information from your sensory receptors and integrates it.
In the area of the highest values, you tend to gather the most information and therefore have the most data to work with to perceive, decide, and act.
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In the area of your highest values is where you are most likely to experience the most certainty and security.
On the other hand, you may find that you procrastinate, hesitate, and frustrate in the LOWER areas of your values.
You won't tend to filter, gather, and focus information in the areas of your life that are least important to you.
In your lower values, you may have ‘attention deficit disorder’ and not have the plethora of information to feel confident to adequately perceive, decide and act.
What's interesting is that:
- Anytime you set a goal or an objective that IS NOT congruent with your highest values, you increase the probability of uncertainty and insecurity.
- Anytime you set a goal or objective that IS congruent with your highest values, you increase the probability of certainty and security.
Put another way, your core area of competence and confidence expresses what you value most.
Everyone has a different set of values and so you have a unique set of values. Those values are fingerprint specific to you.
You may be dedicated to business, intellectual pursuits, spiritual quests, physical fitness and beauty, social causes, raising a family, wealth building, or combinations thereof.
Whatever is highest on your values is where you're likely to have your core competence and confidence.
Whatever is highest on your values is where you'll tend to excel the most, have the most data to make decisions quickly, and lead instead of follow. You are also likely to have greater executive function and self-governance in that area.
Two areas of the brain
When you live congruently with your highest values, your blood, glucose and oxygen goes to your prefrontal cortex, your executive center, and give rise to your executive function or systems 2 thinking.
This is the smart, thinking part of your brain.
It reflects, stops, thinks, anticipates, strategically manages, plans, considers the pros and cons and wisely acts.
As such, you are likely to be more objective, neutral, balanced, resilient and certain.
When you attempt to live according to lower priority values your blood glucose and oxygen goes to the subcortical part of your brain, the amygdala which is part of your limbic system. This gives rise to you thinking and feeling more black-and-white, all or none, avoid pain or seek pleasure, or systems 1 thinking.
In this scenario, you're almost like an animal that sees prey and runs towards it or sees a predator and runs away from it. In other words, you're in extreme rest or digest or fight-or-flight, reactive, survival mode.
As such, you’ll be more likely to polarize and subjectively bias the information your perceive and be more likely to experience feelings of uncertainty and insecurity.
- Anytime you live in your lower values, you tend to go into survival mode.
- Anytime you live congruently with your higher values and live by priority, you tend to go into thrival mode. This is where you tend to have the most certainty, security, and function in a more self-actualized manner.
Maslow described it beautifully when he said that you have a:
- Survival level,
- Security,
- Socialization,
- Self-esteem, and
- Self-actualization.
So, self-actualization correlates with your highest values and survival your lowest.
You move along a self-actualization pathway when you live by your highest values.
Self-actualized individuals have self-governance, while those in their lower values have insecurity.
Focus on your core competency.
Anytime you try to do something out of your core competence, what you value most, or outside of where you excel, it's normal to experience feelings of insecurity.
If I were going to speak at an IT convention, I'd most certainly have insecurity and anxiety because it's not my level of expertise.
You can't do everything, so it is wise to delegate low priority tasks that aren't inspiring to you if you would love to live an inspiring life.
Prioritizing your daily actions in life increases your certainty because you are more likely to be in thrival instead of survival mode.
When you're in survival mode, you tend to be the most insecure.
Think of it this way: when you don't have food, oxygen, water, a home, and basic clothing, you're in survival mode. You'll want to secure those basic needs and stabilize your day-to-day existence.
However, when you live by priority and do something of service, your income will likely go up, and you'll tend to feel as if you're ahead of the game.
Your insecurities will probably drop because you are focused on what's important, being of service and being compensated so you can pay your bills. In other words, you're in thrival mode.
Anytime you're in a changing environment that's not what you're accustomed to and not what's highest on your priorities, it's normal to feel insecure.
I truly believe that insecurity is not a bad thing or something negative. Instead, it is FEEDBACK to let you know that you're likely pursuing things that aren't congruent with your highest values or priorities.
You may have experienced this when you meet someone you think is more intelligent, successful, wealthy, physically fit, spiritually aware, socially connected, or who has more stable relationships than you.
At that moment, you may perceive that they have something that you don't and feel a little insecure because you're too humble to admit what you see in them inside yourself.
You may even play small, exaggerate them, try to inject their values into your life, do something that's not truly most important to you, and live in their shadows instead of permitting yourself to shine according to your own highest values.
If you look carefully, whatever you see in them, you have. It's likely just in a different form according to what you value the most.
For example, you have the same level of intelligence. I have the same level of intelligence as an IT specialist but in human behavior.
You have the same level of intelligence in whatever is most important to you - raising a family, a particular hobby or subject, an area of expertise, sport, or another area of your life where you have the most specialized knowledge.
You don't lack what you perceive in others; you just have it in your area of expertise, which is your highest value.
One of the reasons I put a complimentary Demartini Value Determination Process on my website (drdemartini.com) is that millions of people are wandering around thinking that they know what is truly most important to them when their lives already indicate that they don't, at least consciously. As a result, they often set goals that aren't truly theirs or most meaningful and then wonder why they are not fulfilling them or making tangible progress in their pursuit.
If you haven't already done so, completing the Demartini Value Determination Process will help you identify your highest values, structure your life according, delegate lower priority tasks, excel, and experience more certainty as a result.
It's also one of the reasons why I run my signature two-day program, the Breakthrough Experience, most every week when I teach you how to dissolve the comparisons you have to other individuals and dissolve the emotions that arise when you're not living by your highest priority, and are trapped in insecurity and uncertainty as a result.
In other words, I show you how to dissolve any emotional baggage that's distracting you, so you can get back to priority and reclaim your power again.
Living by priority is a game changer when it comes to certainty.
When you live by priority and fill your day with the highest priority actions that inspire you, where you have core competence, where you start with what you know and let what you know grow, your insecurities are transcended. You are most likely to feel empowered, certain, and secure.
When you live by priority, you excel, build on what you know, gain incremental momentum and more knowledge in these areas, and grow your security level as a result.
Beware of comparing yourself to other individuals and trying to be somebody you're not.
The magnificence of who you are is far greater than any fantasies you'll make of yourself trying to fit in.
Einstein said, if you're a cat trying to swim like a fish, you're going to beat yourself up and feel insecure in water. But if you're a cat climbing a tree, you'll feel more confident.
To sum up:
I am certain that your insecurities in life are just feedback mechanisms to guide you back to what's truly authentic. The authentic you revolves around your highest value. Your identity and purpose in life revolve around what you value most.
It is wise to:
- Identify your highest values. Complete the Demartini Value Determination Process, come to the Breakthrough Experience, learn how to dissolve the emotional baggage around your insecurity, and refocus your life on high priority tasks.
- Give yourself permission to delegate the lower priority things and not trap yourself in time by doing things that aren't truly meaningful, inspiring, and where you excel.
- Do something that you excel at that serves individuals, so you're remunerated and begin to thrive financially.
You can either follow the crowd and be a follower of a culture or lead one. I'd rather live by design than duty and live by inspiration, not desperation.
You don't have to say anything except what you know – you don't need always to speak up. You can just smile, be present and learn.
If you learn and listen, you might learn more and have more confidence as you go along.
Beware of comparing yourself to other individuals and trying to be somebody you're not.
The magnificence of who you are is far greater than any fantasies you'll make of yourself trying to fit in. What you see in others is also in you. It may be in a different form according to what you value most.
Are you ready for the NEXT STEP?
If you’re seriously committed to your own growth, if you’re ready to make a change now and you’d love some help doing so, then book a FREE Discovery call with a member of the Demartini Team so we can take you through your mini power assessment session.
You’ll come away with a 3-step action plan and the foundation to empower your life.
Book Your TICKET for Dr Demartini's Breakthrough Experience
If you’re ready to go inwards and do the work that will clear your blockages, clarify your vision and balance your mind, then you’ve found the perfect place to start with Dr Demartini at the Breakthrough Experience.
In 2 days you’ll learn how to solve any issue you are facing, transform any emotion and reset the course of your life for greater achievement and fulfillment.
You’ll unlock your true potential and lay the groundwork to empower all 7 areas of your life.
Get ready to take your life to a whole new level of meaning and purpose.
Today is the day you step into your power and value yourself by investing in your inspired life when you sign up for Dr Demartini’s signature seminar the Breakthrough Experience:
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