If you are of the mindset that it’s wise to fake it until you make it, you might be headed in the wrong career direction. If you’ve been told that faking it is the answer to building confidence you’ll want to read on…
Authentic confidence, is a natural by-product of living in alignment with your highest values and will help propel yourself toward achievement, whereas a facade of bravado when you fake it, will always be doomed to fail.
In everyday life, an air of confidence is touted as the key to a successful job interview, audition, exam or auction bid. An outward display of self-confidence, or an over-exaggeration of confidence is often just a cover-up for its complementary opposite, a lowered self-confidence.
This incongruence will eventually be recognised, and the very facade that brings the rise will serve the fall.
Wanting to impress someone and feeling the need to adopt a facade in order to inflate or embellish your skills or experience in any area is unwise. When this area is truly one of your highest values, you will prioritise gaining skills in this area, and confidence will flow organically. When you are congruent and confident you will walk your talk, not limp your life.
No need to Fake It:
Rather than setting yourself up for failure by thinking you need to fake it, you’d be wise to determine your highest values; what is most important to you (your highest values) which will show up naturally in your behaviour. The ares of your life that are most important to you are where you have the most discipline and attention.
Perhaps you are high-achieving and confident in your career, an area aligned with your highest values,but when it comes to training at the gym, you are quite shy. Any time that you attempt to excel in an area that is not truly highest in your values, you will lower your self-esteem and confidence; you will tend to procrastinate, hesitate and frustrate doing actions that are not truly important to you.
Instead, you will become preoccupied with doing actions that are truly more important to you. You have another area in your life where you excel, and that is in the area of your greatest congruency.
The trick to authentic confidence, is to focus your energies only on goals that naturally inspire you.
When you set congruent goals, you become spontaneously inspired from within to achieve and fulfil your innermost dominant intentions. You become more disciplined, reliable and focused. Your self-worth rises, while your space and time horizons expand, he advises.
You become more objective, you plan more strategically and become more prepared for the pros and the cons and the ups and the downs, the positives and negative and the risks of pursuing and achieving your goal. In this way, you are more grounded in your expectations.
Dr. John Demartini is a human behaviour specialist, educator, author and the founder of the Demartini Institute.
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