Appreciate Yourself And Grow Your Self-worth

DR JOHN DEMARTINI   -   Updated 11 months ago

The key to love and appreciate yourself is setting real and objective goals - goals that are truly yours. When you achieve your goals your self-worth goes up!


DR JOHN DEMARTINI - Updated 11 months ago

Have you ever awakened in the morning and felt like you didn't appreciate yourself to the fullest? We all have moments of self-depreciation or moments of not loving ourselves for who we are and have low self-worth.

Every individual lives by a set of priorities or a set of values, a list of things that are most important to least important in our lives.

Appreciate Yourself by setting goals that are true to your highest values

Whenever we set a goal that is aligned and congruent with what we value most, our highest value, we increase the probability of achievement. Our self-worth and confidence go up and we believe in ourselves. We walk our talk and we tend to expand our horizons because we give ourselves permission to do greater things. We wake up our leadership capacities.

The blood glucose and oxygen goes into the forebrain, the executive center, where we have inspired visions, strategic planning and self-governance. When we have more objective reasonable goals we tend to achieve it more easily.

But whenever we set goals in our lower values and we try to set goals that are not that important to us, primarily as a result of comparing ourselves to other people and trying to be somebody else, we tend to achieve less goals.

Emmerson said:

“Envy is ignorance, Imitation is Suicide.”

The moment we try to compare ourselves to other people instead of comparing our own actions to our own highest values, we end up self-depreciative.


Because we are setting a goal we “think” is important to us, but it really is not. We are setting ourselves up for a fantasy because we are admiring somebody and injecting some of their ideals in to our lives and trying to be somebody were not.

“The magnificence of who you are is far greater than any fantasies you might impose on yourself.”

The second you set goals in your lowest values because of your comparisons to others and injections of other peoples’ values into your life, it clouds the clarity of your own values. When your own highest values are clouded you automatically set goals in your lower values, less fulfilling values.

You activate with blood glucose and oxygen the amygdala area of the brain. This area of the brain want to avoid challenge and seek support, avoid difficulty and seek ease.

So if it’s an easy goal you will do it! But if it becomes challenging you will give up.

This results in self-depreciation.

Buddha said:

“The desire for that which is unavailable and the desire to avoid that which is unavoidable is the source of all human suffering.”

We end up suffering because we're striving for a one sided world. Biased goals that are not objective, where you desire pleasure without pain, ease without difficulty, will leave you with feelings of not loving or appreciating yourself.

Instead it is wiser to embrace the responsibilities, accountabilities and challenges it takes to achieve greatness.

When you are embracing both sides of life, goals that are more objective and aligned with your highest values, you have a better chance of achieving it.

When you achieve your goals your self-worth goes up!

You self-worth goes down when you set goals in your lower values!

When you live according to your lower values you:

  • Shrink and don't get around to do the tasks set out for the day
  • End up procrastinating, hesitating and frustrating yourself on your goals
  • Actually go to smaller immediate gratifying objectives and end up in sense not loving yourself

The key to love and appreciate yourself is setting real goals, truly objective goals, and goals that are truly yours.

To do incremental actions on a daily basis and to fill your day with high priority action, builds your self-worth. Doing something that is meaningful and inspiring each day will help you to appreciate yourself for who you are and increase self-worth.

Then when you do achieve your goal, you appreciate and love yourself for what you can do. You go out and accomplish more and you make a difference in the world.

“Make sure the world on the outside don't dictate to you what’s important to you on the inside and what is really meaningful to you.”

Fill your day with high priority actions that inspires you, and your day won’t fill with lower distracting uninspiring priorities.

One is inspiring - one is despiring!

One builds your self-worth - one erodes your self-worth!

When you’re eroding your self-worth and beating yourself up or not loving yourself, you feel as if the world is against you. You feel thing are in the way instead of on the way.

It’s important to priorities your life and stick to the things that are most meaningful and inspiring to you if you want to love yourself.


If you’d love to learn how to put the principles covered in this blog into action, join me at my 2-day seminar, the Breakthrough Experience, where I’ll introduce you to a powerful self-development process called the Demartini Method.

The Demartini Method is a breakthrough discovery and cutting-edge individual transformation methodology that results in a new perspective and paradigm in thinking and feeling.

It is the key methodology incorporated in Demartinian Psychology. The Demartini Method consists of Executive Function Development exercises used strategically to drive the evolution of the brain - from subcortical dominance to prefrontal cortex or executive center dominance.

It is the culmination of more than five decades of research and studies in numerous disciplines, including physics, philosophy, theology, metaphysics, psychology, astronomy, mathematics, neurology, and physiology. It’s a cognitive process that involves balancing your mathematical equations of perceptions through a continuous thinking and writing action, driving you from your more primitive survival brain (systems 1) dominance to your more advanced thrival self-governing (systems 2) brain dominance.

The Demartini Method results in greater self-governing executive function and thus life mastery.

It is a powerful transformation process used by many leading specialists in the mind mastery field such as psychology, psychiatry, coaching, mentoring, teaching, and holistic healing.

If you’d love to find out more, click here. You can also chat with a member of the Demartini team by booking a call here.