Understanding Charisma and Magnetism

DR JOHN DEMARTINI   -   Updated 6 months ago

If you’d love to be perceived as someone who is charismatic and magnetic, Dr Demartini shares a number of ways you can own and unleash these traits that you already possess.


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DR JOHN DEMARTINI - Updated 6 months ago

I found myself delving into the realm of charisma and magnetism during my twenties, even going so far as to acquire a book titled "Instantaneous Personal Magnetism" by Edmund Shaftesbury.

My curiosity was piqued by the fact that the founder of Chiropractic, D. D. Palmer, had a background in magnetism, inspiring me to explore its origins, and read widely on the subject as I sought to understand the essence of magnetism and charisma.

Over the past 50 years that I’ve spent consulting, researching and teaching, I have come to realize that magnetism and charisma aren’t necessarily about individuals possessing some extraordinary force. Instead, it primarily revolves around their ability to COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY, both verbally and non-verbally, in a manner that resonates with other people's higher values and needs.

I've had the opportunity of being a professional speaker for 51 years, and throughout that time, I've stood on various stages and observed how some speakers effortlessly captivate their audience while others have difficulty doing so. This led me to investigate what was common among these individuals.

What I discovered is that when an individual is genuinely inspired by the message they were delivering, can clearly see in their mind's eye a vision of what they would love to do, and can clearly communicate it in a way that is inspiring to other people because it engages other people's highest values and helps them fulfil in their minds something that's meaningful to them, people tend to label such individuals as being magnetic and charismatic.

The key lies in the congruency of the individual, whether they are addressing a large audience, a small group, or just one individual. When they are genuinely inspired, enthusiastic, grateful for their opportunity, certain in their abilities, and fully present in the moment, they are more likely to naturally exude magnetism. Why? Because human beings yearn to live in a more transcendental state, a life filled with gratitude, love for their pursuits, inspiration, enthusiasm, certainty, and presence.

Peter Lynch, in his book "One Up on Wall Street," conducted technical and quantitative analyses of people and companies before investing in stocks. However, he took it a step further by actually visiting the company’s headquarters.

He believed that if he encountered employees who were grateful for their jobs, loved what they were doing, enthused about their work, inspired by the company's vision, confident in their skills, and fully present while working, that company's value would soar or appreciate over time.

People tend to invest in something or someone they perceive to be authentic.

When you embody authenticity by walking your inspired path, maintaining integrity, and consistently aligning your actions with your words, you tend to naturally attract others. Why? Because every individual desires to be around empowerment and yearns for advancement in all seven areas of their life.

You can empower:

  1. Your mind and generate ideas that contribute to the world.
  2. Yourself in business through sustainable fair exchanges that generate income.
  3. Your wealth mindset and actions and achieve financial independence.
  4. Your relationship where you can foster stability, love, intimacy and respectful connections.
  5. Your social influence and leave a mark on the world and make a difference in society.
  6. Your physical body by maintaining a fit, energized, and vital body.
  7. Your spiritual being by following your inspirations and doing what you love.

what is charisma

Imagine an individual who authentically masters all these 7 areas of life, exuding inspiration and fulfillment. Such an individual is most likely to draw people in, because everyone yearns for a similar outcome and because it inspires them to fulfil their theirs.

In my relationship classes, I often ask women if they are seeking a partner who is fit, intelligent, ambitious, noble, financially stable, and capable of love and intimacy. Their response is invariably "yes."

But here's the key: they are also looking for someone who is INSPIRED by something. Such individuals are like magnets, and people are naturally drawn to them, often yearning for similar empowerment in all seven areas of their own lives.

It's one of the many reasons why I teach my 2-day signature program, the Breakthrough Experience - to show people how to empower these areas of their lives. This empowerment, in turn, increases their magnetism, attracting others who share the desire to maximize their potential and self-actualize their lives, as Abraham Maslow described.

Anyone who successfully embodies these principles is on track. However, there's another essential aspect to consider. It is unwise to pursue these goals narcissistically at the expense of others.

Building a business, nurturing a relationship, or maintaining a social life often demands a balanced approach that takes into account the needs of others. It's about striking a balance between self-interest and serving others, support and challenge, and a blend of narcissism and altruism.

This equilibrium is crucial for achieving maximum effectiveness and magnetism. Empowering the seven areas of life is far from a narcissistic pursuit; it's a harmonious fusion of self-service and service to others.

Your brain is wired for action to serve (motor cortex) and receive rewards (sensory cortex). True fulfilment therefore, is most likely to be found when you balance both of these aspects.

If you were to ask people about the most fulfilling moments in their lives, they would likely describe instances where they made a meaningful difference in others' lives and received expressions of gratitude in exchange for what they’ve done.

To cultivate magnetism and charisma, it is wise to engage in sustainable fair exchanges while pursuing activities that are genuinely inspiring and meaningful to you.

Authenticity and enthusiasm are key; if you're not inspired by what you're doing, you may find that you’re living your life with increased frustration, resistance, and futility.

I often advise that if you don't love your current occupation, it is wise to either seek a new one that is aligned and congruent with your highest values or look for ways that your current job is helping you fulfill what is most meaningful to you (this is a values linking process that I teach in my Demartini Values Training Program).

You tend to be the most magnetic when you are clear about your purpose and priorities. As such, it’s wise to regularly assess what truly matters, what inspires you, and what you're naturally drawn to.

Think about how you can serve the greatest number of people through your actions, generating ideas, services, or products that meet their needs. The more you help others empower any or all of these areas in their lives, the more likely you are to draw them to you.

The more you help others get what THEY want to get in life, the more likely YOU are to get what you desire in life.

what is charisma

If you find a service that you can't wait to get up in the morning and deliver, and you find a service that they can't wait to get, that’s how you’ll know that you have found your niche.

So, consider what specific traits, or actions can be fulfilling to others. When you communicate what you love to do in alignment with what they desire to receive most, people will be naturally attracted to your enthusiasm and authenticity.

If you're not enthusiastic about your endeavors, it's a sign that you may be wise to reconsider your path or find ways to link your daily tasks to your highest values.

ACTION STEPS: To be magnetic and charismatic, it is wise to:

  • Engage in activities that align with your highest or core values, inspires you, and resonate with others.
  • Prioritize your life by focusing on what truly matters and identify ways to contribute meaningfully.

By caring for and serving the needs of others, you are most likely to naturally radiate magnetism and charisma. There's no magic involved - it's all about genuinely caring for others and meeting their needs.

The book "Instantaneous Personal Magnetism" essentially teaches the art of magnetism, authenticity, centeredness, non-reactivity, and effective communication while adding value to others.

I am certain that everyone, including you, possesses the capacity to incorporate these principles into their life.

If you prioritize your life based on your highest values and focus on those individuals or groups you want to make a difference for - whether it's your children, loved ones, social groups, or any other community - you'll tend to radiate magnetism in those areas. By helping others achieve their desires, you'll find yourself naturally becoming magnetic and charismatic.

The more authentic, inspired, grateful, loving, and certain you are about your core competence, the more captivating you tend to become. Not only is this likely to earn you the labels of magnetic and charismatic, but also tends to attract opportunities that help you achieve and fulfill what holds the utmost meaning for you.

So, grant yourself permission to do something extraordinary by embracing your true state of authenticity.

Being authentic entails prioritizing your life and delegating tasks of lower importance, allowing you to focus on what truly matters most.

what is charisma

In my case, I prioritize teaching, researching, writing, and traveling. For everything else, I enlist the help of people who excel in those areas and are inspired by them, which allows me to stay inspired, grateful, and in love with my daily endeavors.

If I had to manage all aspects of my business, I might feel weighed down, potentially losing my magnetism and charisma. Frustration and grumpiness might take over as I deal with tasks that don't align with my core competence.

If you find yourself temporarily trapped in such tasks, consider how they might contribute, even in small ways, to your progress toward what truly matters to you. View them as stepping stones, not obstacles, until you can delegate them and refocus on your highest-priority activities.

The more you delegate, the more magnetic and charismatic you become. If you help others pursue their highest values while you follow your own, you hold the key to magnetism and charisma.

This is also the path to mastering your life and achieving something extraordinary.

MORE ACTION STEPS: To be magnetic and charismatic, it is wise to:

  • Ask yourself how your daily actions align with your highest values in every area of your life: your studies, work, finances, relationships, societal contributions, and physical well-being.
  • Look for ways in which everything can contribute, rather than obstruct, your progress. When you perceive life as being on the way to your goals, rather than in the way, you'll be more likely to awaken your authenticity, charisma, and magnetism.

Every sign, symptom, and facet of your life offers feedback to help you become more magnetic and charismatic. The experiences and events in your life assist you in this endeavor. However, you may often get entangled in conforming to others' moral expectations and adopting facades or masks, concealing your true, authentic self. To the extent that you do so, you tend to diminish your magnetism and charisma.

That's why I teach people in the Breakthrough Experience to shed emotional baggage, gain clarity and purpose, cultivate mindfulness, and awaken gratitude, love, inspiration, enthusiasm, certainty, and presence - transcendental states of mind that attract opportunities to you.

Living this way is within your reach; it's a matter of prioritizing your life and understanding the principles that can help you shed distractions.

You have control over your perceptions, decisions, and actions.

By learning how to shift your perceptions, make prioritized decisions, and take aligned actions, your life will automatically transform. Magnetism and charisma will naturally emerge.

Ten Ways To Become More Magnetic And Charismatic:

1.      Authenticity and Inspiration: Magnetism and charisma stem from being genuinely inspired by your mission, vision and message or primary pursuit and authentically conveying that inspiration to others.

2.      Effective Communication: Effective verbal and non-verbal communication that resonates with people's needs is key to being perceived as magnetic and charismatic.

3.      Alignment with Values: Aligning your actions with your highest values and helping others do the same fosters magnetism, as people are drawn to those who empower them.

4.      Congruency and Presence: Being present in the moment, fully inspired, grateful, certain, and inspired create congruency and enhances your magnetic presence.

5.      Balancing Self-Interest and Service: Achieving magnetism requires balancing self-interest with serving the needs of others, a blend of narcissism and altruism, and support and challenge.

6.      Empowering the 7 Areas of Life: To be magnetic, it is wise to focus on empowering your mind, business, finances, relationships, societal contributions, physical well-being, and your inspired service to the world.

7.      Prioritization and Delegation: Prioritize your life based on your highest values and delegate tasks that don't align with them to stay inspired.

8.      Shedding Facades: Authenticity and shedding emotional baggage are key to maximizing magnetism and charisma.

9.      Control over Perceptions, Decisions, and Actions: Learning to shift perceptions, make prioritized decisions, and take aligned actions enhances your magnetism and charisma.

10.   Serving Others: Helping others achieve their desires and contributing to their well-being naturally attracts people to your magnetic presence.

Incorporating these principles into your life can help you cultivate magnetism and charisma while making an impact on those around you.

I would love to help you identify your highest values, priorities, unique mission and purpose in life, and ways you can become more charismatic and magnetic as you live an extraordinary life.

Consider joining me for my next 2-day online Breakthrough Experience program so you can break through any barriers that are holding you back from living an authentic, empowered, masterful and inspired life.


Are you ready for the NEXT STEP?

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You’ll come away with a 3-step action plan and the foundation to empower your life.


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