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DR JOHN DEMARTINI - Updated 5 days ago
At times in your life, you may notice two very different responses emerging within you. You might find that sometimes you react quickly, emotionally, impulsively or instinctively to whatever you perceive is happening around you. Then other times where you may pause, reflect and strategically act with purpose and meaningful intention.
What you may not yet know is that these two responses do not come from the same part of the brain. They arise from two distinct layers of your brain - what I sometimes describe as the “nut” and the “shell” of the walnut, or the subcortical part of your brain which
includes the amygdala and the higher functioning part of your brain called the medial prefrontal cortex. When you begin to understand the role each of these layers plays, you’re more likely to understand why you may sometimes be more reactive and unstable and others where you’re more centered, clear and strategic.
Systems 1 vs Systems 2 Thinking
The deeper subcortical nuclei give rise to Systems 1 thinking. This is the emergency system designed for survival. It is driven by the impulses to seek pleasure and the instincts to avoid paint.
When this system is running you, you tend to react before you think. You can become an automaton of sorts, responding to whatever stimuli happen to be in front of you, moving toward what you perceive as pleasurable and away from what you perceive as painful, and then only afterward asking yourself why you felt unsettled or thrown off centre.
The outer cortical layer, particularly the medial prefrontal cortex, gives rise to Systems 2 thinking - the executive function. This is the region of the brain involved in reason, foresight, strategic planning and meaningful action. It is also where you are most likely to find the mean between the pairs of opposites, to recognise that the very things you seek have downsides and the things you avoid have upsides. When this center is active, it governs the amygdala in your subcortical brain, calms your subcortical nuclei and brings you back toward balance and objectivity.
When you access the executive center, you shift from hindsight to foresight. You move from survival to thrival. Instead of reacting emotionally and then having to make sense of it later, you think beforehand, and you act accordingly and more purposefully.
The choice is yours - you can live primarily by meaning or you can live primarily by emotion, and the ratio between the two will determine the stability and direction of your life.
Key takeaway: The quality of your life is influenced by which of these two systems you are empowering in any given moment.
Seeing Both Sides and the Power of Prioritisation
It may help to see the way these two systems operate by looking at the structure of a company. You have the workers at the bottom who react to immediate tasks. Above them are the supervisors and managers, and above them the executives. At the very top sits the leader, the visionary, who likely operates with the greatest degree of foresight, planning, prioritization and delegation. The higher the role, the more foresight is required. The same principle applies in your own life. If you would love a more powerful and meaningful life, it is wise to prioritize your day with high-priority actions.
So, what tends to distract you from filling your day with high priority actions that inspire you? Anything you infatuate with or resent. Anything you look up to or down on. Anything you judge tends to be a distraction. For example, you may see an attractive person and imagine they have more positives than negatives. No, they don’t. They have a different set of positives and negatives. Every relationship you have been in has likely shown you over time that it has both benefits and drawbacks, upsides and downsides. There are both sides that exist simultaneously.
Instead of waiting for age or experience to eventually show you this, I’m inspired to help you learn to see both sides now. Wilhelm Wundt, the father of experimental psychology, tried to guide people to see life as being two-sided. He said that simultaneous contrast is a stable point, while sequential contrast - perceiving the positive at one moment and the negative at another - creates instability. The Daoists also emphasize the wisdom in seeing both sides simultaneously in order to become more stable.
I like to use the analogy of a spinning top. Imagine the top is half black and half white, half positive and half negative. If you spin it rapidly, it becomes grey and stable. There is no wobble. But slow it down and it begins to tilt, precess and eventually fall to one side. In other words, any time you judge, infatuate or resent someone, you “slow the spinning top”. You’re disowning parts and not seeing the other side that you’re ignoring. You may see it as being a terrific event and ignore the other side or see it as a terrible event and ignore the upsides. The likely result is instability.
You have probably seen people who are extreme radical or extreme fundamental absolutists positions and witnessed how unstable their views are and how distracted they can become by trivia because they are unable to see both sides of an event at the same time.
But those who can hold both sides simultaneously - the benefits and the drawbacks, the positives and the negatives - tend to be more stable and live with more meaning. They find the mean between the pairs of opposites. They live by purpose and by their highest priorities. When they activate the executive center, they bring reason back into the mind and follow a more self-actualizing pathway. These are the individuals the Daoists described as “untouched,” because they are not distracted by the polarities around them. They are present.
And the present is where life occurs. You do not age in the present. You age when you add past and future to your perceptions. When you extract space and time from the mind and return to the center - to the authentic self, the soul - you can more easily access a state that feels immortal. The moment you add space and time again, through judgment and emotional reactivity, you step back into mortality.
You ultimately decide where you want to play in life.
You can choose to be run by impulse and instinct, by immediate gratification, by the addictive swings of seeking and avoiding that govern the subcortical regions of your brain. It is wise to know that individuals who live that way often leave no real legacy, because they are run from the outside in, reacting to the world rather than being driven by an intrinsic and inspired mission within them.
Or you can choose a different path - a path shaped by purpose, by meaning, by your highest priorities and values. That is the path of those who are most likely to leave a mark in the world. They see both sides of life. They extract themselves from emotional volatility and return to the present. This is what Saint Augustine and many great philosophers have tried to emphasize through the ages.
Key takeaway: You can live by impulse/instinct and external influence, or you can choose to live a congruent life with your purpose, mission and unique set of highest values.
Are you ready to give yourself permission to live by purpose? To live with a mission that is truly meaningful to you? Your life already demonstrates what you value most, and when you identify your highest values and live congruently with them, you are most likely to awaken your executive center, to see both sides of an event or individual, and to govern your perceptions instead of being governed or run by them.
If you have not yet done so, I would encourage you to go to my website and complete the free Demartini Value Determination process. It is a set of thirteen questions that will take you about thirty minutes to complete. If you answer them honestly, they will give you deep insight into what is truly important to you so you can prioritize your life and stop living in the “shoulds,” “ought to’s,” “got to’s,” “musts” and “have to’s” that you may have injected from others that scatter your focus and drain your energy. Attempting to live by those lower priorities can leave you fatigued, disempowered and distracted, rather than poised, powerful, present and inspired.
For decades I have taught people in my signature seminar program the Breakthrough Experience how to master that path, and tens of thousands have awakened to the same realisation: it is not as complex as some would have you believe. Just as some brokers and money managers make investing appear complicated to keep you dependent on them, some individuals make personal mastery sound complex. But the truth is far simpler.
I always say that the quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you ask.
If you ask quality questions that help you extract out the meaning, purpose, mission, vision, and the thing that is truly a priority in your life – and align your day around that – you are mostly likely to have clarity and vitality in your life.
If you would love guidance in mastering that process - in discovering your unique set of highest values, defining your mission and learning how to live with greater intention each day - I would love to have you join me at my next Breakthrough Experience seminar, where we explore these principles in depth and put them into practice so you can live a more meaningful and masterful life.
TO SUM UP
You may at times react quickly, emotionally and instinctively… at other times you may pause, reflect and move with greater strategic intent.
These two responses arise from two distinct layers of your brain - the “nut”/subcortical and the “shell”/medial prefrontal cortex of the walnut/brain.
Systems 1 thinking is the emergency system designed for survival driven by the impulses to seek pleasure and the instincts to avoid pain. Systems 2 thinking gives rise to reason, foresight, strategic planning and meaningful action.
The quality of your life is influenced by which of these two systems you are empowering in any given moment.
Every relationship you have been in has likely shown you that it has both benefits and drawbacks, upsides and downsides. Life has both sides, and those who can perceive both sides simultaneously tend to live with more meaning and stability.
You ultimately decide where you want to play in life. You can live by impulse and external influence, or you can choose to live congruently with your purpose, mission and unique set of highest values.
Your life already demonstrates what you value most. When you identify your highest values and live congruently with them, you are most likely to awaken your executive center.
Living by your lower priorities can leave you fatigued, disempowered and distracted, rather than poised, powerful, present and inspired.
The quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you ask. If you ask quality questions you are most likely to have clarity and vitality in your life.
If ever you’d love to explore these principles in more detail, consider joining me at the Breakthrough Experience, my 2-day seminar where I can help you to identify your highest values and vision and mission in life. If you are inspired to get back into the driver’s seat of your own life, the Breakthrough Experience can help you fast-track the process.
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Important Notice:
The content shared in this blog is for education and personal development. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any psychological or medical conditions. The information and processes shared are for general educational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional mental-health or medical advice. If you are experiencing acute distress or ongoing clinical concerns, please consult a licensed health-care provider.
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