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DR JOHN DEMARTINI - Updated 6 hours ago

You’ve probably had a moment in your life where you experienced a powerful emotional reaction, that didn’t allow your reasoning mind to remain in control, and you felt hijacked by your perception and its resultant emotion.

I’d like to talk about that for a moment and elaborate on what likely happened, and what you can do about it going forwards.

According to Nobel Laureate Daniel Kahneman, you have two types of thinking. You have a rapid Systems One thinking where you are in survival and react quickly to emergencies where you don’t have time to think. This is when a car’s about to hit you, or something suddenly startles you, or you perceive something you’re emotive about. In other words, you react before you think.

Then you have Systems Two thinking, where you take the time to reason, think, break things down, and decide how you’re going to respond. In this case, you think before you react.

Now, the first one, Systems One thinking, is predominantly governed by a subcortical area of the brain called the amygdala. The amygdala basically assigns an emotional charge (valency) to events that you experience and makes you either impulsively seek them or instinctually avoid them.

If it’s something you perceive that you want because you perceive more benefits than drawbacks, you may feel an impulse to seek it, bring it closer. You might see an individual you’re attracted to and go, whoa, and feel that immediate pull. Or you might see something you don’t like, or someone you dislike, seeing more drawbacks than benefits, and have the instinct to react or avoid it.

Anytime you are highly infatuated with something, or highly resentful towards something, those highly polarized emotional states tend to occupy space and time in your mind and run you. You may have intrusive thoughts. Find it difficult to sleep. Difficult to focus. Difficult to concentrate. Because you’re distracted by these highly polarized perceptions.

What is wise to understand is that these reactions are not random. They are based on how you are perceiving an event in that moment.

Your ratios of perception determine whether you’re in Systems One or Systems Two thinking.

If you have a balanced ratio of perception, you tend to move into Systems Two and become more reasonable. But if you have a highly imbalanced ratio of perception, you tend to go into Systems One, where you’re more emotive and reactive, more impulsive and instinctual in your responses.

This is what’s called amygdala hijacking. It’s hijacked you from reason.

If you can bring those perceptions back into balance, you are able to calm yourself down, begin to govern yourself, and move your blood flow up into the medial prefrontal cortex, where Systems Two thinking occurs. And now you’re back in a more reasonable response. You can think before you react.

Most of the time, because the neurons in the lower subcortical regions tend to be larger and faster to fulfil their role in survival, you’ll tend to react first and then think about how you reacted afterwards.

But if you train yourself to change the ratios of your perceptions in advance, and you begin to see both sides of an event instead of highly polarizing it, you can become more reasonable and present and not be hijacked. You can function with more foresight and know how to bring yourself back into reason before the more extreme emotional reaction takes over.

This is training that martial artists often develop, and it’s something that any individual can begin to master.

Imagine that you have a perfectly balanced perspective, where you see the positives equalling the negatives and the negatives equalling the positives. In that state, Systems Two comes online. Your medial prefrontal cortex is engaged. You’re more objective. You’re seeing what’s actually there – both sides at the same time.

But the moment you begin to polarize your perception to one side or the other, the more polarized it becomes, the more your amygdala comes online.

Your amygdala is preparing you for what you perceive as prey, which you want to capture so you don’t starve, or predator, which you want to escape so you don’t get eaten. So you go into an alert reaction.

That’s also why you may find it difficult to sleep at night when you’re highly activated. You’re on alert. You don’t want to lose something you think you need, and you don’t want to encounter something you fear.

So anytime you have an imbalanced ratio of perception, the likelihood of that hijacking increases. And the more extreme the imbalance, the more intense the reaction tends to be.

If you take something that you’re infatuated with, let’s say you meet a very attractive individual, at first you may be conscious of the upsides and unconscious of the downsides. You’re highly polarized. You see way more positives than negatives.

And then you start creating a fantasy about what the future is going to be like with that individual. It’s all positive, no negatives, or mostly positives. And when that happens, you can’t sleep. You’re thinking about it, running it over in your mind, and the intrusive thoughts are difficult to get it out of your head.

Many people confuse that with love, but it’s often more of a romantic fantasy – what is sometimes known as “puppy love”.

The same thing can happen on the other side. If you become conscious of the downsides and unconscious of the upsides, and that becomes extreme, where it’s all negatives and no positives, you may think, “I don’t ever want to see that individual again.” And again, you’re hijacked.

So anytime you have an imbalanced ratio of perception, whether it’s infatuation or resentment, you tend to be run by it. You assign a positive or negative charge to what you’re perceiving, you feel an impulse to seek or an instinct to avoid, and it occupies space and time in your mind.

You can’t get it out of your mind because, you’re designed to capture what you perceive as prey and avoid what you perceive as predator.

In those moments, the impulses and instincts to seek or avoid can override your reasoning mind. And you may feel out of control, ungoverned, and caught in what Aristotle described as the passions or affections.

Interestingly, the word passion comes from the root “passio,” which relates to suffering. Because when you’re highly infatuated or highly resentful, you may find yourself wanting to change yourself into someone else, or change someone else into you. And that tends to be futile, and often leads to frustration.

So, these emotional extremes are part of survival, but they’re not necessarily the states that allow you to thrive.

Systems Two thinking is more associated with thrival. It’s where you can set objectives, plan strategically, execute those plans, and embrace both the support and the challenge, the positives and the negatives, in the pursuit of something meaningful.

It’s more about finding the mean between the pairs of opposites. If you can balance your ratios of perception, you can begin to activate that level of thinking.

That’s part of the reason I developed the Demartini Method, which I present in my signature Breakthrough Experience program. It’s a series of quality questions that you can ask yourself to help bring those imbalanced perceptions back into balance.

For example, if you’re perceiving only the positives, you can ask, “What are the downsides to what I’m perceiving?” so you can begin to bring your awareness into balance.

What’s interesting is that your intuition innately does this.

You might meet a very attractive individual and feel that impulse, that immediate reaction that says, “I want that.” But at the same time, there’s often another voice that says, “Just slow down. Don’t rush. It might be too good to be true.”

That intuition is attempting to reveal the side of the equation that your impulses are overlooking.

So your impulses, driven by the amygdala, may be saying, “This is all positive, go for it.” But your intuition is saying, “Hold on, what’s the downside? What are you not seeing?”

It’s trying to bring you back into awareness, so that instead of being partially conscious, you become more fully conscious and can see both sides at the same time.

And when you begin to see both sides, you tend to become more centered. You’re less reactive, less emotionally charged, and more able to be present and be your authentic self.

Because when you’re infatuated, you may minimize yourself and sacrifice who you are to try to gain that individual. And when you resent someone, you may exaggerate yourself and try to dominate or push them away.

But when those perceptions come back into balance, you’re more likely to be authentic. There’s a kind of homeostatic mechanism that’s trying to bring you back into balance. Your brain’s negative feedback loops are constantly trying to take those imbalances, those oscillations, and bring them back into equilibrium.

Now, instead of waiting for time and aging to do that, you can begin to ask quality questions that help you do it in the moment.

And that’s essentially what the Demartini Method is. It’s a series of very precise questions that help you become conscious of what you’re currently unconscious of.

• If you’re infatuated with someone, you can ask, “What are the downsides to what I’m perceiving?”
   
• If you’re resentful towards someone, you can ask, “What are the upsides?”
   
• Another powerful question is, “Whatever I see in that individual, where do I do the same thing?”

As you begin to ask those questions and honestly answer them, you are more likely to begin to see both sides simultaneously.

When you do that, Systems Two thinking comes online. The medial prefrontal cortex begins to regulate the amygdala. The hijacking subsides. And you’re able to respond more objectively and reasonably.

Instead of reacting emotionally, you begin to see both sides and you can respond from a more balanced, objective state.

So if you would love to have a greater probability of being centered and not emotionally hijacked, it comes back to asking quality questions. Because the quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you ask.

If you ask questions that help you equilibrate your mind, you begin to liberate yourself from those intrusive thoughts and emotional reactions. And when that happens, you begin to feel more centered, self-governed and empowered.

When you bring those perceptions back into balance, you begin to govern your life from within. And that’s why I’ve said for many years, when the voice and the vision on the inside become louder than the opinions on the outside, you begin to master your life. You move from being a victim of your history to being a master of your destiny.

You have the capacity to go inward and ask yourself those questions and equilibrate your perceptions.

You can allow yourself to be run by the hijacking of the amygdala, or choose to bring your perceptions into balance and empower yourself.

It’s not what’s happening out there. It’s your perception of it.

As William James said many years ago, one of the greatest discoveries is that human beings can alter their lives by altering the perceptions and attitudes of their mind.

You have that capacity. When you begin to ask quality questions and bring your perceptions into balance, you can take command of your life and move from being a victim of your history to a master of your destiny!

To Sum Up

• Your ratios of perception determine whether you’re in Systems One (imbalanced perceptions/judgments) or Systems Two thinking (balanced perceptions/gratitude).
   

• Imbalanced perceptions beyond a ratio of 1:7 or 7:1 positives to negatives is what’s called amygdala hijacking. It’s hijacked you from reason.
   
• Anytime you are infatuated with something, or resentful towards something, those highly polarized emotional states tend to occupy space and time in your mind and run you.
   
• Anytime you have an imbalanced ratio of perception, whether it’s infatuation or resentment, you tend to be run by it.
   
• The quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you ask. As equilibrating questions that help you to see the up of the down or the down of the up and you move in the direction of greater mind and life mastery.
   
• When you begin to see both sides, you tend to become more centered, poised, grateful, resilient, adaptable, enthused, present, fulfilled.
   
• These emotional extremes are part of survival, but they’re not necessarily the states that allow you to thrive.
   
• Anything that’s emotionally charged can keep coming up in your life until you bring it back into balance.
   
• It’s not what’s happening out there. It’s your perception of it.
   
• When you begin to ask quality questions and bring your perceptions into balance, you take command of your life. You are then more likely to move from being a victim of your history to being a master of your destiny.

The Demartini Method is a system I’ve been developing since I was 18 and have continued to refine over five decades.

It forms the foundation of my signature two-day Breakthrough Experience seminar, where I teach individuals how to dissolve emotional charges, balance their perceptions, and bring their mind back into a more centered and objective state.

If you are inspired to become more authentic, to govern your life from within, and to master your life by mastering your mind, I would love you to join me at my next online Breakthrough Experience seminar.

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If you’re seriously committed to your own growth, if you’re ready to make a change now and you’d love some help doing so, then click on the LIVE chat button bottom right of your screen and chat to us now.

Alternatively, you can book a FREE Discovery call with a member of the Demartini Team.

 

Interested in the Breakthrough Experience seminar?

If you’re ready to go inwards and do the work that will clear your blockages, clarify your vision and balance your mind, then you’ve found the perfect place to start with Dr Demartini at the Breakthrough Experience.

In 2 days you’ll learn how to solve any issue you are facing and reset the course of your life for greater achievement and fulfillment.

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Important Notice:
The content shared in this blog is for education and personal development. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any psychological or medical conditions. The information and processes shared are for general educational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional mental-health or medical advice. If you are experiencing acute distress or ongoing clinical concerns, please consult a licensed health-care provider.

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