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READ TIME: 12m
DR JOHN DEMARTINI - Updated 9 hours ago

Sometimes you might find yourself scrolling on social media and becoming engaged in ways you didn’t anticipate, spending minutes, dozens of minutes, maybe even an hour or longer browsing through various social media platforms. It may be Instagram or something else, but you may find yourself getting hooked by algorithms, organizations that are selling, or simply by the intrigue of something according to what you value most in your life.

In either case, I believe that it’s wise to prioritize what you’re doing with your time on social media. I have specific things that I target and focus on, and if I’m scrolling and I see them, I pay attention. If not, I just kind of go right past them. There are some things that don’t mean anything to me and others that mean a lot, so I prioritize accordingly.

Social media in itself is neither good nor bad, positive nor negative. It’s simply a way of getting information out.

Sometimes people are trying to sell you their ideas, and sometimes you may be looking for specific information. So why not be honest with yourself about why you’re doing it. If you’re doing it intentionally and prioritizing what you’re doing, you can engage in it wisely and powerfully.

But if, for example, you’re impulse shopping, similar to how you would behave in a physical grocery store or department store, then salespeople can more easily sway you with discounts, fancy enticements, false information, or whatever it is that sensates and grabs your attention. And then, in all likelihood, you become distracted.

You wouldn’t tend to be distracted if there wasn’t content that was meaningful to you. But at the same time, instead of doing it intentionally, you’re likely doing it reactively. You’re having evoked potentials stimulated in your brain instead of spontaneous action potentials that are more meaningful and intentional.

Just like in any area of your life, if you don’t fill your day with high priority actions that inspire you, your day can fill up with low priority distractions that don’t.

So, if you don’t fill your social media time with high priority actions that are meaningful and inspiring to you, it can easily fill up with impulsive, algorithmic pleasure-seeking and things that simply catch your attention.

As such, it is wise to look carefully at the pattern in what’s grabbing your attention, because your highest values influence the information that rises into your conscious awareness.

Any area of your life you don’t empower, other people are going to overpower.

For example, if you don’t empower yourself intellectually, people will tell you what to think, and social media is one of the many ways that happens. If you don’t empower yourself in business, people will tell you what to do. They’ll tend to do whatever they can to get your attention. They’re salespeople trying to buy your attention so they can gain advertising, outreach, influence, and exposure.

And, if you’re not clear about what is truly priority to you, you’ll tend to be more vulnerable to the influence of social media.

As I mentioned earlier, it is unlikely that you will be distracted by everything and more likely that you will be distracted by certain things. In my case, sometimes I’ll go onto Instagram and scroll through maybe 20 or 30 things passing by, and then boom, something grabs me. I’ll stop, listen to it, maybe write down notes or extract a quote from it. Then I’ll discard the rest. If it doesn’t somehow resonate with my values, I won’t even stop and pay any attention to it.

So, any area of your life you’re not prioritizing, other people are most likely going to control. If you’re not prioritizing what you read, how you spend your time, how you spend your money, who your clients are, or the actions in your business that produce the greatest results, you’re more likely to become distracted by lower priority stimuli.

The same happens in stores. When I walk into a store, I already know what I’m there to buy. I don’t impulse shop. If I see what I’m looking for, I buy it. If I don’t, I leave. The same principle applies to social media.

It is wise to avoid letting the world on the outside dictate your destiny and instead to let your life be governed from the inside out.

As I often say, when the voice and vision on the inside become louder and more profound than all opinions on the outside, you begin to master your life. So take command of your time on social media. Find the pattern and use that information wisely.

And ask yourself one of the most important questions an individual can ask: “What is the highest priority action I can be doing right now that is most meaningful, most productive, and most fulfilling?”

I had a gentleman that was watching television for about six hours a day, watching those shows where they solve mysteries for police departments. His mother was frustrated because she perceived that he wasn’t doing anything meaningful with his life and that his time would be better spent looking for a job.

When we looked deeper, we found out that what he really wanted to do was forensic medicine and forensic studies, solving problems and solving mysteries, particularly around death. So, what he was watching was actually priority to him. When we looked carefully at the content, there was a pattern. And that pattern revealed what was most meaningful to him. Once we identified his unique set of highest values, he felt inspired to go online and research courses that could help him one day enter that field of work.

Again, if you’re not filling your day with something that’s deeply engaging and meaningful to you, you’re more likely to become vulnerable to distraction. But even then, there’s still a pattern. Some things you just pass right by. They mean nothing to you. But when something engages you, there’s some value that’s being met. The sales individual or algorithm has likely identified something that matters to you and they know how to get your attention.

This is information that you can use wisely, instead of judging yourself harshly for the time you spend “doom scrolling” In other words, you can use that information to do something meaningful, productive, and fulfilling in your life.

If you’re not living your life by design, you’re living it by duty. And duty means you’re more likely to be influenced by the world around you.

Take the time to really pay attention to what you’re watching and engaging with and find the pattern. Find out what values it’s meeting. If it’s meaningful and helping you, be honest about that. But if it’s not, you may simply be unengaged in that area your life.

That’s why I tell people about the free Demartini Value Determination process on my website so you can identify what is truly most meaningful, valuable and engaging to you. If you’re spending a lot of time on social media, there’s a reason. Find the pattern and narrow down what is truly valuable to you.

I’ve yet to find anybody where, when we carefully go through the Demartini Value Determination process, we can’t narrow down what their values are. It’s a very methodical process. It reveals the more intrinsic driving values of your life, than the extrinsic ones. So, if you find a pattern in your social media usage, there’s something in your values that it’s meeting, or you wouldn’t continue doing it.

After you have worked through the Demartini Value Determination process, the more engaged you will likely become in what’s truly meaningful to you, and the more you’ll naturally focus on things that help you fulfill it. From there, you can either go and do what you love through delegating, or love what you do through linking each task to your highest values.

To put it another way, you can either delegate lower priority tasks so you can become fully engaged in the highest priority tasks - in my case, teaching, research, writing, traveling, and education - or, if you have responsibilities that feel more like duties than inspiration, ask yourself: how specifically is doing this helping me fulfill what’s highest on my values?

Because the more neural links you build in the brain between an action and what is most meaningful to you, the more engaged you become in the action itself. And when you’re engaged, blood, glucose and oxygen go into the medial prefrontal cortex, where you have greater governance and moderation over the amygdala, which is the instinctual and impulsive reactive side that social media often targets.

Social media companies are more interested in your amygdala than your executive center. They want to grab your attention with the promise of pleasure without pain, or pain that makes you want to buy something to get away from it.

As such, if you’re not engaged in high priority actions and not seeing how what you’re doing is helping you fulfill what’s meaningful to you, you may become more vulnerable to impulsive distraction.

Retail therapy can quite easily separate pleasure from pain by allowing you to buy on credit. You buy something today and feel the pain 30 days later when the bill arrives, creating the illusion that you can have one without the other.

The impulsive consumer, the compulsive consumer, the immediate gratifying consumer, are often individuals who are unfulfilled in what’s truly highest on their values.

But people who consume wisely and selectively may not be unfulfilled at all. They’re simply using tools consciously to help them fulfill what’s most meaningful to them.

Like I say, I’m constantly researching. I go online, use Google, use AI, study information, and if I’m scrolling through Instagram or another platform and I find something meaningful, I’ll stop. I love finding quotes by great minds and thinkers. I’ll extract them, use them, and study them because anything that empowers people, I’m interested in. Some people may look at that and say, “Well, he’s focused on social media.” Yes, because I’m using it to help accomplish my mission.

So ask yourself: what is your primary objective or mission? Get clear about that first.

Like I already said, complete the Demartini Value Determination process. Get clear about what is truly priority to you and then use social media in alignment with that objective.

At the end of the day, every tool can be used wisely or unwisely. Water itself can drown you if used excessively, but water is also essential for life. Technology is the same. The purpose of technology is tékhnē, a means to an end. And the end in mind is your purpose, your teleology. So, technology can help you fulfill your purpose if you prioritize how you use it.

Every time you prioritize your life, you’ll tend to become more selective. You become selectively biased toward information that helps you fulfill what is most meaningful to you.

That’s why I encourage people to narrow down what truly matters to them. Because when you become clear about your highest values, you’ll tend to use social media more wisely instead of letting it use you.

One path – using social media wisely - will inspire you, engage you, empower you, and help you become more productive, meaningful, fulfilled, and grateful. The other path will leave you distracted, unfulfilled, questioning yourself, and feeling run by impulses and instincts from the outside world because you’re not seeing the pattern.

I am certain that it is wise to avoid letting the people around you infiltrate your life and dictate your direction. It is wiser to take command of your life and be the one who uses the tools around you wisely to your advantage. If you do, you’ll become more engaged, inspired, fulfilled, and clear about your mission, and that’s far more fulfilling than wandering through life allowing impulses and distractions from the outside world to run your life.

So remember: if you don’t fill your day with high priority actions that inspire you, your day can easily fill up with low priority distractions that don’t. But even those distractions contain feedback. Find the pattern and use it to guide you toward what is most meaningful to your life’s mission and purpose.

To Sum Up:

• Social media in itself is neither good nor bad. It’s simply a tool. The question is whether you are using it consciously and intentionally, or whether you are reacting to it impulsively.
   
• If you don’t fill your day with high priority actions that inspire you, your day can easily fill up with low priority distractions that don’t.
   
• You’re not likely to be distracted by everything. You’re only likely to be distracted by certain things. There’s a pattern in what grabs your attention. Find the pattern.
   
• Any area of your life you don’t empower, other people are likely to overpower.
   
• When you live congruently with your highest values and engage in something deeply meaningful, you’re more likely to use social media for a purpose instead of immediate gratification.
   
• Technology is simply a means to an end. The end in mind is your purpose.
   
• And every time you prioritize your life, you’ll tend to become more selective about the information you allow into it.

So, ask yourself:

• What is the highest priority action I can be doing right now that is most meaningful, most productive, and most fulfilling?
   
• Because even distractions contain feedback.
   
• Find the pattern and use it to guide you toward what is most meaningful to your mission.

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Important Notice:
The content shared in this blog is for education and personal development. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any psychological or medical conditions. The information and processes shared are for general educational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional mental-health or medical advice. If you are experiencing acute distress or ongoing clinical concerns, please consult a licensed health-care provider.

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