How To Develop Self-Discipline and Inner Strength That Lasts

DR JOHN DEMARTINI   -   Updated 1 month ago

Dr John Demartini shares simple steps you can follow that can help you develop self-discipline and inner strength that lasts.

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DR JOHN DEMARTINI - Updated 1 month ago

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Would you love to unlock your inner strength and self-discipline? Do you feel inspired to learn how to prioritize your life and stay focused? Dr Demartini explains the ONE thing you would be wise to do and SEVEN questions to ask yourself each day to keep on track.

I’m sure you can think of moments when you’ve procrastinated, hesitated, frustrated, delayed or allowed yourself to get distracted.

Do you ever wonder why in certain areas of your life you are not quite disciplined, focused, or inwardly driven in a way that will help you get ahead in those areas?

Do you sometimes look at others and wonder why you don’t have their drive, focus or energy in certain areas?

If so, you’re not alone. Many of my students ask me how they can stay focused and develop discipline in certain areas of their life.  In fact I’d say it’s the number one question I am consistently asked around the world.

After

Would you love to unlock your inner strength and self-discipline? Do you feel inspired to learn how to prioritize your life and stay focused? Dr Demartini explains the ONE thing you would be wise to do and SEVEN questions to ask yourself each day to keep on track.

I’m sure you can think of moments when you’ve procrastinated, hesitated, frustrated, delayed or allowed yourself to get distracted.

Do you ever wonder why in certain areas of your life you are not quite disciplined, focused, or inwardly driven in a way that will help you get ahead in those areas?

Do you sometimes look at others and wonder why you don’t have their drive, focus or energy in certain areas?

If so, you’re not alone. Many of my students ask me how they can stay focused and develop discipline in certain areas of their life.  In fact I’d say it’s the number one question I am consistently asked around the world.

After almost 5 decades of researching, writing and teaching around the world, I’m certain that there is ONE key step you can take right now that can change the trajectory of your life, relationships, health, work, finances and more.

Click below for the video of this article . ↓

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Here it is:

Identify your highest value(s)

Every human being has a unique set of priorities or values that they run their life by. This set of values determines how you PERCEIVE, how you DECIDE, and how you ACT:

  • Every  perception is filtered through what you value most;
  • Every  decision is based on what you believe will benefit your highest values. That means that you perceive that it will give you the greatest advantage over disadvantage at any moment; and
  • Your  actions  are spontaneous in your highest values, meaning they are intrinsic, but as you go down the list of values, you require more extrinsic motivation to get you to do it.
  • In other words, when you procrastinate, hesitate, and frustrate, you’re likely to be attempting to achieve some goal that is lower on your list of values.

    The majority of people tend to set up so-called goals or fantasies in their life that are not deeply meaningful to them but which they think they “need” to or “should” get done.

    They will also tend to compare themselves to others, put people on pedestals, and inject values from others so that they lose sight of what is deeply meaningful and truly most important to them.

    As a result, they attempt to fill their lives with actually low priority actions that they would be wise to delegate to others and often end up trapped performing tasks they have resistance to.

    In my experience, this is the key reason why so many people have a “vocation / vacation split” and spend their days longing for the weekend or their next break from work instead of doing something they love so that their vocation and vacation are the same.

    I have spent the past 48 years dedicated to my highest values of travelling, researching,  writing and teaching. I have never once needed reminding or motivation to get them done because this is what I’m spontaneously inspired to do.

    When it comes to my lower values - driving, cooking or any other lower value that I am not spontaneously inspired to do each day, I would need an external push to get those done.

    For this reason, I have made it a point to find somebody who loves doing what I want delegate and hand it over to them.

    Now you may think that I get to delegate because I have the income to do so, but here is what happened: I wasn’t able to delegate because I had more money. I made more money because I delegated.

    It doesn’t cost to delegate properly; it costs NOT to delegate properly. 

    The moment you:

    • Get on with the task that is highest in priority, what you are spontaneously inspired by and called from within to do, the thing you can’t wait to get up in the morning and do;
    • Perform these high priority actions in a way that serves people so that you are fairly or equitably remunerated;
    • Surround yourself with people you delegate things to - that actually love doing them, that do a greater job than you would even do it, that don’t procrastinate, so you don’t have to micromanage them; and
    • Free yourself up to do what you love doing
    • This is the way to liberate yourself and be more disciplined and productive.

      To repeat what I said earlier, you are spontaneously inspired to act on your highest value. So if you are not inspired to act and need to be reminded, motivated and incentivized to do something, it is not likely to be as important to you as you might imagine.

      Your most authentic you, your ontological identity - is an expression of your highest value. I identify myself as a teacher - my highest value is teaching. If my highest value was serial entrepreneurship, I would call myself an entrepreneur. If my highest value was fathering, I would say that I identify as a father.

      The highest values that you have are what your life’s identity revolves around. The moment you are authentic, the moment you set your goals and action steps to line up with what is highest on your values, you electrify your energy levels and are likely to be most disciplined.

      Self-discipline is self-mastery, which means living authentically according to what you value most.

      Many people can’t wrap their head around that. I often suggest people take the time to listen to the words they use throughout the day – out loud or in their head. Using imperatives like below means you’re likely injecting the values of other outer authorities and not living your authentic intrinsic values – so pay attention if you hear yourself saying:

      • “I need to go to the gym.”
      • “I should spend more time with my friends.”
      • “I ought to play more with the kids.”
      • “I must clear out the garage.”
      • “I got to finish the spreadsheet for tomorrow’s meeting.”
      • “I have to visit my in-laws.”
      • Any time you hear yourself using imperative language such as, ‘I got to’, ‘I have to’, ‘I must’, ‘I need to’, ‘I should, ‘I’m supposed to’, it is feedback to let you know that these actions are not your highest values but are likely to have been inculcated from an outer authority. This could be a parent, preacher, teacher, or someone you may have put on a pedestal and injected their values into your own life.

        Performing these tasks or actions is, however, a CHOICE. You choose to do it not because you have to but instead because you have not yet delegated it. So, it is not that you “have” to do it – you just perceive that you do. This could explain why you may feel trapped.

        ACTION STEP :

        Click here   to begin the  FREE Value Determination Process on my website so you can identify your highest values and begin to prioritize your life.

        Now that you know your highest values, what’s next?

        Mary Kay Ash from Mary Kay Cosmetics shared something with me 36 years ago that I have done ever since. She said,  “Write down every single day the highest priority actions that you can do that can help you fulfil what you feel is deeply meaningful to you.”

        So, each day, I spent time writing down on an index card what I perceived to be the highest priority actions I could do that day under the circumstances to help me fulfil my mission. It was usually about 6 or 7 items that I made sure were action steps for that particular day. Then I committed to prioritize those actions and go after them in order of priority.

        After a few days, I noticed that my energy levels had gone up and that I was more invigorated, inspired and spontaneous. My self-worth has increased, I was able to embrace any challenges more resiliently, and I was more creative in coming up with solutions to problems.

        It soon became clear to me that my overall performance was maximized whenever I lived congruently with my highest priorities. By liberating myself from doing anything that was not inspiring to me, I no longer tended to procrastinate, hesitate or frustrate. That, for me, was the key to developing self-discipline and inner strength that has lasted for 36 years.

        Therefore, the  secret to being disciplined is sticking to your highest values or priorities because you are most likely to be spontaneously inspired to do that action.   It is also where you are most likely to excel. 

        • If you want to fill your life with distractions, do low priority things.
        • If you want to inspire your life with actions, do high priority things.
        • That’s how you stay disciplined.

          What if you are in a situation where you are not yet able to delegate low priority actions or tasks?

          If you’re not in a situation where you can delegate you may be asking how then can you maximize your efficiency and avoid procrastinating?

          In this instance, you can take the job responsibility or duty that you perceive you ‘need to’ do and ask yourself, “How specifically is doing this particular action helping me fulfil my highest value until I can delegate it?”

          Once you can perceive how it will help you fulfil your objectives, you will be more likely to take the necessary steps to get the job done. In other words, you LINK the action or responsibility to your highest values so that it becomes less draining to do.

          It may sound a little overwhelming right now because there may be quite a lot of actions you would love to delegate. I once felt that way too. I had layers of stuff to delegate when I started, but I just took a little layer at a time, one little piece at a time, and delegated layer upon layer.

          7 Questions you may love to ask yourself each day to get started and stay on track

          Here are seven questions I teach in my signature seminar program The Breakthrough Experience that you may love to use to get started on your journey towards living by priority:

          1. What is it I would love to do in life that I am absolutely inspired to do?
          2. How do I get handsome and beautifully paid to do it?
          3. What are the seven highest priority actions I can do today to make this become reality?
          4. What obstacles might I run into, and how do I solve them in advance?
          5. What worked and what didn’t work today?
          6. How do I do it more effectively and efficiently tomorrow?
          7. How did whatever happen to me day today help me fulfil my mission?
          8. In conclusion

            If you’d love to build momentum doing what is truly meaningful to you and what you feel is your true identity and calling in life, you would be wise to start by  identifying your highest value.

            Your highest value is where you are likely to:

            • Awaken your genius, creativity, innovation and contribution;
            • Activate your brain’s executive center;
            • Have the most self-discipline and self-governance;
            • Be less passionately distracted by impulses and instincts of the external world; and
            • Live an inspired life;
            • Be an unborrowed visionary;
            • Wake up your inspired leadership;
            • Build momentum;
            • Attract people, places, things, ideas, and events into your life to help you fulfil what is deeply meaningful to you.
            • Giving yourself permission to live by priority is one of the most significant things you could do if you want to have a self-disciplined life and develop an inner strength that lasts.

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How To Develop Self-Discipline and Inner Strength That Lasts

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