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DR JOHN DEMARTINI - Updated 3 months ago
If you work in the service industry as a coach, consultant, mentor, or healthcare professional, or if you are in some way involved in assisting others in maximizing their potential or achieving their goals, I have some ideas to share with you that have helped thousands of others and that could help you.
I've been working in this area clinically for 46 years and teaching for almost 52 years, during which I have developed methodologies and tools that assist people in maximizing their own and others' fulfillment and achievements in life. I’m inspired to share some of these tools and principles that I've found to be most powerful.
Firstly, if you're a coach or consultant, you will likely find that many of your clients’ challenges involve conflicts with others within their company, between departments, with their spouse or kids at home, or with their clients. As such, much of your time will tend to be spent helping them deal with conflict resolution or issues of superiority, inferiority, judgments, and power struggles. Some of these conflicts may result in health issues that distracts them or consumes them.
These are just some of the different avenues that you may be presented with. In my research, teaching, coaching and in my work as a Human Behavior Expert, I have seen people faced with challenges in all seven areas of their lives - spiritual, intellectual, business, finance, family, social, and physical health and well-being. I believe that these areas are all interconnected when helping clients break through limitations and achieve their goals.
Over the years, I've developed tools and methodologies to help people break through these boundaries.
One of these is the Demartini Method, which participants in my signature 2-day Breakthrough Experience program get to experience and coaches, therapists and consultants are trained to use in my Demartini Method Training Program.
In essence, the Demartini Method is a powerful coaching methodology that gives you the ability to get results for your clients in session by session. I describe it as a cognitive process that involves balancing the mathematical equation of perceptions so you and your clients can experience greater executive function, objectivity, inspiration, appreciation, fulfillment, and drive.
What makes it unique is that it is a systematic, predetermined series of questions that you ask your clients, that when answered, it results in your clients neutralizing and dissolving emotional baggage so it no longer weighs them down. Instead, they can experience integrated feelings of presence, certainty, gratitude and love.
I often use the example that when you point a finger at someone, you have three fingers pointing back at you. In other words, you’ll tend to resent traits in others that you are too proud to admit are in you and admire traits in others that you are too humble to admit in yourself. And, as long as you’re too proud or too humble to admit what you see in others is also inside you, you’re unlikely to be your true authentic self or achieve self-mastery where you are governed from within instead of run from without.
Think of it this way – you’ve likely had moments where you've been resentful of somebody and had difficulty sleeping at night, which likely affected your health, performance, and productivity. Or you've been highly infatuated with someone, distracted by impulses, and couldn't get them out of your mind.
In other words, anything you infatuate with or resent occupies space and time in your mind and runs you, and anything you balance, you are more able to govern.
This is where the Demartini Method comes in. In the Demartini Method, I've developed a system of asking very accountable questions to help an individual reflect and balance such imbalanced emotions.
Pure reflective awareness is liberating and empowering. Deflective awareness, on the other hand, where you're too proud or too humble to admit what you see in others inside you, deflects it, disowns it, and dismembers it. You don't remember that part of yourself and try to hide it, which is disempowering.
You’ll also tend to keep repeating and recycling those events in your life until you bring your perceptions back into balance. For example, you may keep trying to avoid a certain type of individual in your life without realizing that they're actually there to give you insight into what you're not loving and appreciating in yourself. Everybody on the outside actually acts as feedback to guide you to love all those parts they represent inside you. So, giving yourself permission to look inwards and reflect is one of the wisest steps to take.
Here's an example of some of the steps in the Demartini Method that you would use in your own life or together with your clients:
1. What specific trait, action, or inaction do you perceive this individual displaying or demonstrating that you admire most or despise most?
This could be a spouse or child, a social friend or enemy, someone working in the company in a different department, an employer, a client, or a vendor - anybody you could have these emotions towards
2. Go to a moment where and when you perceive yourself displaying or demonstrating the same specific trait, action, or inaction that you admired or despised in them.
At first, you may be too proud or too humble to admit that you do that. You might think, 'I don't do that. I pride myself on not doing that,' or 'I don't do it as much as them,' and you're too humble to admit it. It is wise, at this point, to go past the facade, the imposter syndrome that you wear, and dig deep.
I've gone through this with thousands of people, and I assure you, what you perceive in others, you have to the exact same degree as what you perceive in them. You're not missing anything. You're just too proud or too humble to admit it. By going in and neutralizing that and finding out where you've done that in your life, you can resolve some of the judgments you have on them. Because who are you to judge them if you're doing the same thing? This levels the playing field, neutralizes the impulses towards and instincts away, and activates the executive functioning of your brain. As such, you are more empowered to live congruently with your unique set of highest values, live by priority, and be inspired and vitalized instead of exhausted and drained.
So, if you're working with a client, it is very valuable to help them understand what they're judging in others and themselves, and what they're deflecting. The next step is to help them own it. Once they own it, it softens their judgments. It's amazing how it happens - it tends to dissolve away.
3. Once you see the trait you admire in somebody, go to a moment where you perceive that trait in them, and in that moment, what's the downside to it? Or if you're resenting them, what's the upside to it?
You can do this by asking counterbalancing questions like: What's the upside to what you perceive is down, and what's the down to what you perceive is up? Balance it out. Don't make anything up or fake it; just look. You'll discover all traits, actions, or inactions have two sides.
For example, when you first admire somebody and think they're really intelligent, you might find out they like to be right, are argumentative, think they know everything, and don’t like to listen to others. In other words, the trait you admire also has aspects you dislike. On the other hand, the trait you dislike, that they are confrontational, might show they are courageous enough not to worry about what people think, and they're being authentic and saying it like it is.
Every trait has two sides - the things you like and dislike about it. If you see one side and have a subjective bias on it, and you meet someone with that behavior, you're more likely to be run extrinsically by them, either seeking or avoiding them.
The Demartini Method is designed to help you balance your perceptions, own what you see in others, and allow you to run your own life instead of letting the world outside run you.
The Demartini Method also helps to you dissolve feelings of pride and shame.
When you're proud, you're not yourself - it's an imposter syndrome. When you're shamed, you're not yourself. When you're centered and authentic, you're yourself.
For example, in business, if you're cocky and proud, you likely don’t listen to your customers, think you know more than they do, don't listen to your staff, and become an autocrat. The result is that your business will tend to humble you.
If you're altruistically minimizing yourself, sacrificing for others, and trying to please everyone, you'll tend to have anarchy in the company and sacrifice your profits. So, if you don't know how to be authentic and balance out the distractions of your infatuations and resentments, these distracting emotions will affect the business.
The Demartini Method is a powerful tool to help you balance pride and shame, infatuation and resentments, and distractions that occupy your mind, keeping you from being present, purposeful, poised, powerful, productive, and prioritized.
You may also identify labels that you put on people that trap you, thinking, "Well, all these types of people are always that way." These subjective biases and prejudices actually undermine your communication skills and opportunities in your life.
The Demartini Method helps neutralize that and stops you from labeling people, which likely undermines your businesses and relationships, health, dynamic with your family and your social life and even your spiritual understanding. Why? Because when you label others as being part of the ingroup or part of the outgroup, you exaggerate or minimize people or yourselves and are not being authentic.
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The Demartini Method also has an application to help you find the synchronicities of opposites.
I had a client that was in South Africa that was being challenged in the media. I used the Demartini Method to help him identify who was supporting him at the same time that others were challenging him. In other words, we identified the praisers to balance the reprimanders, so we could bring it into balance. Once we had completed the process, the client was no longer fearful or anxious about the criticism, because he realized that you never get criticism without praise. You never get one without the other. They come as a pair like a magnet. Praise and reprimand are always there together, and you need both in order to maximize your growth. So, there’s a question in the Demartini Method that helps you see both sides simultaneously.
In the Demartini Method, I also show people how to liberate themselves and free themselves from worrying about what other people think about them. Think of it this way: if you have too much praise and no reprimand, you'll tend to get proud and elated, start losing contact with who you are, and think you're invincible. You’ll tend to be humbled by tragic situations. And if you are put down, you’ll tend to attract people to support you and try to lift you up.
In fact, your physiology, psychology and sociology all act as a feedback system to try to get you authentic. If you get cocky, there's criticism and challenge. If you get humble, there's praise and support. Nature is helping you to get you back into authenticity.
The Demartini Method can help you govern yourself before the world around you has to.
It is something that's trainable, transferable, and translatable, I've taught it in over a 150 countries around the world. Thousands of people are using it. It's a tool that can be useful for you personally and for your clients professionally. I'm certain that if you learn it, it'll be one of the most valuable tools you'll have in your toolkit, making a difference in people's lives and in your own.
You can't help other people get what they want to get in life without you helping yourself do the same. I invite you to come to the Breakthrough Experience to experience the Demartini Method and to the Demartini Method Training Program to learn how to use it in your client sessions.
To Sum Up:
The Demartini Method can assist you in helping clients break free from emotional drama and baggage, allowing them to perceive the events of their life as being ON the way and not IN the way, happening FOR them and not TO them.
Many of your clients might constantly compare themselves to others – placing them on a pedestal (and minimizing themselves) or in pits (and exaggerating themselves). The Demartini Method can help them own all the traits – those they are too proud or too humble to admit they have. This can level the playing field, so they are balanced, neutral, and objective.
The Demartini Method also teaches reflective awareness to help your clients become conscious of how their judgments of others are feedback of disowned traits within themselves; identify how every trait has two sides – positives and negatives; how to overcome pride and shame; and to become conscious of times they label and mislabel people or groups of people.
It is a powerful tool to help clients become aware of how their physiology, psychology and sociology is a feedback system to try to get them to be authentic – that nature is constantly assisting them in returning to authenticity. If you’d love to experience the Demartini Method, join me at my signature program the Breakthrough Experience where you’ll work with this methodology and shift your own emotional baggage.
I've taught the Demartini Method to thousands of coaches, teachers, psychologists, and individuals from diverse backgrounds, all dedicated to helping people. If you're one of them, I encourage you to seize the opportunity to attend the Demartini Method Training Program. By the end of the training, you'll have learned how to use the Demartini Method effectively to bring about transformation in your client sessions.
Once you experience its power and witness the immediate results it produces, you'll likely be eager to incorporate it into your practice. It's not a hit-or-miss approach; it's a method that yields tangible change in behavior through consistent effort and application. By doing so, you can empower yourself to assist others in achieving something extraordinary.
I’d love to teach you how to use the Demartini Method and help you transform your coaching business and increase your referral rate and revenue.
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If you’re seriously committed to your own growth, if you’re ready to make a change now and you’d love some help doing so, then book a FREE Discovery call with a member of the Demartini Team so we can take you through your mini power assessment session.
You’ll come away with a 3-step action plan and the foundation to empower your life.
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