Your Greatest Challenges Can Give Rise to Your Greatest Gifts

DR JOHN DEMARTINI   -   Updated 6 days ago

Dr Demartini explains why what you may perceive to have been some of your greatest challenges, may have given rise to some of your greatest gifts. He also explains how to transform your perceptions so you can see your challenges as being ‘ON the way’ and not ‘IN the way’!

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DR JOHN DEMARTINI - Updated 6 days ago



Let’s begin by looking at what I mean by “values”, something I speak about in almost every presentation.

Every individual lives by a set of priorities or values.

Whatever is highest on your list of values or your core values - the thing that’s most important, most meaningful, most inspiring, and that you spontaneously do and love doing, this is the area where you are likely to have the greatest potential, or drive. You’ll have an intrinsic yearning to fulfil and master the area of your highest values.

As you go down your priority list to your lower values, you have an increasing or higher probability of requiring extrinsic motivation, incentives, reminders, and a push to get you to complete those tasks.

For example, I don’t need motivation to research and teach, because they are high on my hierarchy of values. However, I’d require some degree of external motivation to cook and drive and maybe go to a party, which are lower on my values.

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Let’s begin by looking at what I mean by “values”, something I speak about in almost every presentation.

Every individual lives by a set of priorities or values.

Whatever is highest on your list of values or your core values - the thing that’s most important, most meaningful, most inspiring, and that you spontaneously do and love doing, this is the area where you are likely to have the greatest potential, or drive. You’ll have an intrinsic yearning to fulfil and master the area of your highest values.

As you go down your priority list to your lower values, you have an increasing or higher probability of requiring extrinsic motivation, incentives, reminders, and a push to get you to complete those tasks.

For example, I don’t need motivation to research and teach, because they are high on my hierarchy of values. However, I’d require some degree of external motivation to cook and drive and maybe go to a party, which are lower on my values.

Requiring external motivation is a symptom of an uninspired goal, a goal not aligned to what’s most important to you. External motivation is not the solution to master your life.

If you need external motivation to do what you say is important to you, it’s not truly important to you. 


High Values and Objectivity

When you perceive that you are living congruently with your HIGHEST values, in other words, with what is truly most valuable to you, you are likely to be more objective, neutral, and balanced in your perceptions, actions and orientation.

Objectivity means being unbiased or more neutral-minded. So in the areas of your highest values, you are likely to find that you are more willing to embrace both sides of life - the pains, pleasures, supports, challenges, ease, and difficulties - in the pursuit of your truly meaningful goals or objectives.

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Low Values and Subjective Bias

When you perceive that you are living according to your  lower values and that you are doing things you perceive you “should”, “must”, or “ought” to do, instead of choose and love to do, you are likely to perceive that you are living by duty instead of by your own internal design.

When you perceive that you are living according to your  lower values, instead of waking up your executive center for inspired vision, you wake up your amygdala and your hindbrain, for uninspired actions that require refining through hindsight. This is a more primitive area of the brain which deals with conditioned reflexes, impulses, and instincts for immediate gratification and the seeking of pleasure and avoidance of pain.

You are also more likely to attempt to avoid pain and seek pleasure, avoid challenge and seek support, and avoid difficulty and seek ease. And this will likely lead you to perceive a futile lack of fulfillment.

The result is that you may develop a more one-sided view, be more polarized in your perspective, and enter into a  subjective bias state. And, whenever a subjective bias state occurs, you will tend to further distort your reality.

Right now, you probably see a lot of subjective bias in the news regarding COVID vaccines. There are very few balanced and objective opinions offering detailed information on both sides, yet many one-sided subjective biases from vaxxers and anti-vaxxers.

Subjective bias correlates with a “survival mentality” - a more polarized view and reactionary state. When that occurs, you will tend to have emotions that are INCOMPLETELY AWARE. 

values in life

Let me give you an example:

  • When you seek something that you’re infatuated with, you’re likely to be conscious of the UPSIDES and unconscious of the DOWNSIDES. The unconscious, ignored downsides become a “void”.
  • When you resent something or avoid it, you’re likely to be conscious of the DOWNSIDES and unconscious of the UPSIDES. Being ignorant of upsides may also create a “void” or “missing information.

Think of a time when you were infatuated with somebody and you thought they were somehow more empowered than you.

You were likely conscious of their upsides and unconscious of their downsides; and simultaneously unconscious of your upsides and conscious of your downsides.

You may have exaggerated them and put them on a pedestal and minimized yourself as a result. As such, you were too humble to admit what you saw in them was also inside you, which likely resulted in a MISSING part or void perceived inside yourself.

You may also recall a time when you looked down on someone or resented them thinking they were somehow less than you. In this case, you were likely conscious of their downsides and unconscious of their upsides; and simultaneously conscious of your upsides and unconscious of your downsides.

As such, you were likely too proud to look and admit that what you saw in them was also in you, which likely resulted in a DISOWNED part or void.

Anytime you have subjective biases and you are polarized in your perspectives, you experience an emotion. If you’re highly polarized, you can perceive situations in terms of absolutes. When you do, you can almost guarantee that there is  underlying ignorance and  missing information, which by definition is called entropy or disorder in life.

Anytime you perceive you are not living by your highest values, you will likely have a DISORDERED STATE and develop VOIDS.

Your voids long to be fulfilled. Your intuition is calling you to see the other side. When you do, you get to experience balance and integration which leads you to a moment of gratitude (grace), presence, certainty and love.

High Values, Integration and Authenticity

I have asked millions of people around the world over the past four decades, “How many of you just want to be loved and appreciated for who you are?” Every hand goes up.

When I ask, “How many of you want to make a difference?” Every hand goes up.

Why? Because you are most likely to make a difference by being authentic. The way you’re authentic is when you’re living by your own highest priorities and values in life which are unique or different.

As I said earlier, when you live in accordance with your highest priority, you tend to be the most objective, be the most balanced, see both sides of each situation, you’ve integrated your disowned parts, you’re less ignorant and certainly more aware.

That’s what is often referred to as the OBJECTIVE TRUTH.

On the other hand, subjective bias is a lack of truth, incomplete awareness, or missing information. 

The moment you see things from both sides, you have neutral mindedness. When you embrace both sides, and are not exaggerating or minimizing yourself you then become most authentic.

As long as you’re too proud or too humble to admit what you see in others is inside you, you’re putting on facades, masks or personas and not being authentic.

You want to be loved for who you are, but you can’t be who you are if you’re not embracing both sides and thus in a state of balance.

So, anytime you judge someone and put them on a pedestal or in a pit, you tend to put yourself in the pit or on the pedestal in compensation.

And that is not who you are. That is not your authentic self. Those are personas and masks and facades you wear instead of being your authentic self.

I’m certain you have a yearning to express your authentic self and a desire to be loved and appreciated for who you are.

All your voids act as a feedback mechanism inside you to guide you to integrate those missing or disowned parts and personas into your true being so you can be truly whole and authentic.

Therefore challenging behaviours act as guides you to your authenticity. Your voids are opportunities, pointing the way to your re-integration.

Opportunity of Challenge

The word opportunity comes from the word “opportune”, which originally means to sail into harbor safely with the wind blowing you gently from behind, being in your flow and guided by the winds of opportunity.

So, whenever you’re owning your previously disowned parts and living with wholeness, you awaken your empowered and authentic state.

This is where you’re in the flow and where your human will matches what theologians have termed divine will.

However, when you judge yourself, you weigh yourself down, and have incomplete awareness, subjective bias, missing information, disorder and uncertainty:

  • Those states create voids;
  • Those voids want to be fulfilled; and
  • Those voids further drive your values.

what does fulfillment mean

The word “fulfillment” means filling full the mind that has something missing or is empty. That’s why the most fulfilling thing you can ever do is live by your highest values where you’re most objective and where you neutralize the most void creating judgments.

One of the most unfulfilling things you can do - is attempt to live long-term according to your lower values where you become most subjectively biased and judging.

So, every time you perceive you’re not living authentically because of judgment and minimizing and exaggerating yourself and other people, you automatically create those perceptual voids that seek to be fulfilled.

Your intuition is constantly trying to help you become cognizant of what you’re unconscious of to help you see both sides so as to become fulfilled and whole.

Whenever you’re conscious of the upsides and unconscious of the downsides, your intuition will try to whisper the downsides to you to calm down the infatuation, which distracts you.

In all likelihood, you’ve had infatuations in your life that become distractions that preoccupied your mind and perhaps made it hard to focus or even to get a restful night’s sleep.

If you’re highly resentful, the same thing tends to occur with constant noise and uncertainty in your mind.

These symptoms are feedback to let you know that you’re likely not living by priority, seeing both sides, being objective and truly authentic.

In other words, all the symptoms of your psychology (and in fact your physiology too) are feedback mechanisms that are intuitively guiding you back to your authentic self, where you’re more able to maximize your awareness and potential.

Challenges Giving Rise to Your Greatest Gifts

The values in your life are a by-product of your voids, and your voids are based on your judgments.

Let me give you an example from my own life.

When I was about a year and a half old, I needed to wear braces on one of my arms and legs to straighten them. As a result, I was quite limited and constrained in my movements. Looking back, I judged myself compared to others, which resulted in a void in my life.

So, the minute those braces were removed, I couldn’t stop moving – I just wanted to be constantly on the go. That void transformed into one of my highest values – travel. I travel full time around the world and to this day, I prefer not to be ‘constrained’ to any one location.

I was also diagnosed with a speech impediment when I was about the same age and spent years going to a speech pathologist to learn to speak ‘properly’ like “the other children”.

I’m certain that the resulting void transformed into another of my highest values – becoming a speaker on stages around the world.

In other words, your greatest voids can turn into your greatest values and your greatest gifts.

I often say that anything that you can’t say thank you for is BAGGAGE, but anything you can say thank you for is FUEL.

I’m very grateful that I had a deformed arm and leg and that I battled to speak because that drove exactly what I get to do each day and what I love doing. I can’t wait to get up each morning and travel, speak, research and write. It’s deeply meaningful and inspiring to me.

Your voids will determine your values, and so the very challenges you once perceived will determine your opportunities and greatest gifts in life. 

So, your challenges in life aren’t setbacks but opportunities to move forwards in life.

It is therefore wise to take the time to look back at challenges you may have perceived as being “in the way” in your life and look carefully at how they may have been “on the way” – the wind behind your back rather than the stumbling block at your feet.

Action Steps to See the Hidden Order of your Life

  • If you have not yet done the FREE Value Determination Process  on my website, this may be incredibly valuable for you. Just click HERE to do so online when you have 30 minutes of time to answer the 13 questions that will help you to become clear on what you value most.
  • Once you have identified your highest values or your top priorities, you can look back at your life and identify any previous challenges or voids that may have given rise to your greatest gifts.
  • It’s wise to stop and make a list of anything you can’t say thank you for, anything you’re infatuated with or resentful towards, and find the other side. In that way, you can become more objective, neutral and balanced, where you have the most authenticity and power.
  • Once you are mindful of the voids in your life, you’ll see that they underlie many of the things you value most in your life. Being conscious of your voids driving your specific values can help make you more grateful for what is.

So, suppose you would love to move past perceiving that you are a victim of your history and instead become a master of your destiny. In that case, it is wise to realize that the voids from all your judgments are nothing more than imbalances of perspective trying to find a balance. And when you perceive that you’re living by your highest priority, you get that balance back.

(Note that the step-by-step process to balance your perceptions and emotions shared above is extracted from the scientific methodology called The Demartini Method. To find out more about this powerful transformation process, click HERE)

In Conclusion

  • It is wise to take advantage of the opportunities the challenges in your life give you.
  • You have control of your perceptions, decisions, and actions. To find out more about how to gain governance of your mind using your perceptions, consider joining me at the Breakthrough Experience 2-day self-development seminar. It’s a life transforming weekend where you’ll learn the secret of mastering your mind and your life as well as the path of vision, influence and self-empowerment. You can find out when the next program is scheduled by clicking HERE.
  • Suppose you take command of your perceptions in such a way that you see both sides of things or events instead of just the one side. In that case, you are likely to liberate yourself from those bondages, or misperceptions and get on with doing something extraordinary with your life.
  • Your challenges in your life are your gifts.
  • Your voids determine your values.
  • The things that you think are IN the way are actually ON the way. The magnificence of who you are and the life you’ve led is more profound than any fantasy assumption you could ever impose upon you or your life.
  • You deserve an amazing life and if you’d love to continue with free training on empowering the 7 areas of life, then please click HERE to access the free class on the site. See you there!
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Your Greatest Challenges Can Give Rise to Your Greatest Gifts

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