Supermom Syndrome: Symptoms And Treatment

DR JOHN DEMARTINI   -   Updated 2 years ago

It might be wiser to consider Supermom Syndrome as a result of unrealistic expectations and non-prioritised decisions, Instead of labelling it a disease


DR JOHN DEMARTINI - Updated 2 years ago

Women who juggle careers and family or single-handedly manage a handful of kids, inevitably become vulnerable to the Supermom Syndrome.

Whether you are single or married, working full time while managing children, or solely handling a handful of children at home, you can at times become overwhelmed by the enormous amount of responsibilities that you face as a modern woman.

With today’s busy schedule and the ever-growing demands for your time, it is getting harder to balance your life, career, and family. Even with some family members willing to help, you still have many fine details to master when managing your children. And today you will require ever greater levels of energy just to get it all done.

Mothers face exceptional outside social demands today, which make them vulnerable to the supermom syndrome.

You may feel frustrated for only starting your various endeavors, for hardly meeting all of your goals, for trying to juggle so many activities, and for feeling frustrated that you could have done it better.

Moms with supermom syndrome think they have to do all the many responsibilities instantly or else their family or career will fall apart.

Supermom syndrome as a result of high expectations on self

What are the symptoms associated with Supermom Syndrome?

As a supermom you may just find yourself experiencing the ABCDEF's of depression:

  • Anger and aggression
  • Blame and betrayal
  • Criticism and conflict
  • Depression and feeling down
  • Exhaustion and "exit- strategies"
  • Frustrated and fatigued

Is it possible to treat the Supermom Syndrome?

Yes! But instead of labeling this so-called syndrome a medically treatable disease, it might be wiser to consider it as a result of unrealistic expectations and non-prioritized lifestyle decisions.

Before seeking sympathy from loved ones for your overwhelm,  consider changing your daily lifestyle choices by setting realistic expectations on yourself as a mother. Instead of running your story to a shrink, learn the art of delegating.

You can transform this supermom syndrome into growing and life mastering opportunities, as follow:

  • Prioritize your daily household and work activities
  • Target higher, more meaningful, and inspired actions
  • Ask for help so you or delegate lower priority activities to those capable and inspired to do them

These symptoms are feedback mechanisms to get you to live realistically according to your truest and highest priorities.

"Living according to other people’s expectations, are futile. You do not have to be a supermom to receive attention, acknowledgement, or to be loved. You can be loved for who you are, as you are. But, it starts with you!"

The Supermom Syndrome can occur during any phase of your mothering cycle, from when your children are first born until they finally become independent. At each stage, there are many demands and can be many unrealistic expectations and distractions.

Comparing yourself to another mother?

When moms subordinate themselves to others that they look up to or admire,  they become more stressed. Women who imagine themselves living like someone they envy (whether in their real lives or in their self-help or storybooks), feel frustrated and angered with their situations.

As Emerson wrote, “Envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide.”

Living up to others people's social ideals is not necessarily wise.


One of the symptoms of supermom syndrome is comparing yourself to others


Case study 1

I once counseled a woman who was very angry at her husband for feeling that he was not contributing to the family as much as she was. She blocked her feelings of appreciation and love for him because of her many unmet expectations.

Once I had her list everything she did in a day and prioritized them according to their levels of productivity and meaningfulness and then listed the replacement costs next to each item, she could more easily see which actions she could most cost-efficiently delegate to others.

Before our meeting, she was overwhelmed and angry. Afterward, she was liberated and relaxed and appreciating her husband once again. She gradually delegated more of these lower priority items over the next few months and gave herself permission to work part-time at a career.

This left her feeling fulfilled once again in her career and made her appreciate her children even more. It resulted in more quality time with them on education, reading, playing, and meaningful discussions when eating. She felt more like a true mom and a career woman once again. Much of her anger projected onto her husband, was actually feelings toward herself. The symptoms she experienced were there to guide her.

Case study 2

I have also worked with women who have mastered the art of prioritizing their daily activities and skillfully stuck to their highest priorities.

If you fill your day with low-priority distractions you will feel depressed and drained. But if you fill your day with high priorities that are meaningful and inspiring, you will feel more energized at the end of the day. These moms have learned this lesson. The more educated, adept and prioritized their lives were, the more permission they gave themselves to freedom.

In my signature two-day seminar program, The Breakthrough Experience, I teach couples how to love and appreciate each other for their individual values. This seminar helps you to communicate in each other’s highest values. I have helped moms become freed to know themselves, be themselves, and love themselves. The result is loving their lives, husbands, and families once again.

Ultimately, every action you do will act as feedback mechanisms for you to live more authentically and according to what is truly meaningful and important to you. Every action is on the way, not in the way. Instructive, not obstructive. Then the wisdom of your masterful attitude will awaken.

There are no mistakes, only feedback mechanisms to help you eventually live the life you deserve. As a mom, you deserve to live a super life.

If you'd love to learn more about loving yourself and others as they are consider Dr. Demartini's online learning program: Infinite Wisdom of Love.

supermom solutions


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You’ll come away with a 3-step action plan and the foundation to empower your life.


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