In all probability you’ve had moments when you have puffed yourself up, exaggerated and inflated yourself and felt proud of yourself. You possibly build yourself up to be greater then what you actually innately feel.
In this puffed state you think you have high self-esteem.
But you’ve also had moments in your life where you went to the other extreme. And you’ve deflated, negated or minimized yourself, and went into a shame mechanism. We might call this an inferiority complex. You go up and down, minimize and exaggerate, inflate and deflate.
These are the polarities of what we call self-esteem.
Self-worth is the center point between the polarities of self-esteem
But around these oscillations is a center point.
“I define self-worth as the center point between the two polarities of high and low self-esteem.”
Our true self-worth is a stable center and our self-esteem is fluctuating emotions about ourselves.
When we are conscious of the things we like about ourselves, and unconscious of the things we don’t like about ourselves – we go up and exaggerate ourselves.
When we are conscious of the things we don’t like about ourselves, and unconscious of the things we like about ourselves – we go down and minimize ourselves.
But when we are conscious about both sides of ourselves, the things we like and dislike about ourselves, the true self – we get in the center. And in that center we are at our true self-worth.
In our center point we expand and grow our self-worth
The moment we’re in our center we tend to expand. The second we’re oscillating we get stuck in the same state of self-worth.
It is the integration of these two polarities of self-esteem that make our self-worth grow and expand.
Self-worth and values
Every human being has a set of priorities or values, things that are most important to least important in their life.
Whenever we set goals according to our higher values, we are more objective and more resiliently balanced. When we are setting goals in our highest values we are more centered in our true self-worth and we tend to want to expand.
Whenever we set goals that are lower on our values, because of the unfulfillment that those bring, we want immediate gratification to compensate for the unfulfillment. We want to go for ease and avoid pains and difficulties. In the process we tend to want to get addicted to being proud and we beat ourselves up to keep ourselves centered.
Anytime you exaggerate yourself, you will beat yourself up and minimize yourself in order to keep yourself stable in your self-worth. To get addicted to a high self-esteem it self-depreciative. You will automatically bring in the other side to balance it.
True self-worth is seeing both sides
You don’t have to get rid of any part of yourself to love yourself. The hero and villain, the saint and sinner, the virtue and vice inside of you all have a place.
The part of you that’s building and the part of you that destroys both have a place. They are trying to bring you back to your true self-worth where you grow and expand naturally.
If you want to grow your self-worth, you have to understand that it is about calming down the extremes of the fluctuating polarities of self-esteem.
When you live by your highest values, you automatically do this; the executive center brings self-governance to these polarities. And you’re stable and setting real goals in real timeframes with real objectives.
When you set goals in your lower values you tend to polarize yourself and then get stagnant.
The wisest thing to do is to fill your day with things that are really meaningful to you, that you are focused on and that you spontaneously love doing. Doing things that are inspiring to you will help you to continuously grow your self-worth with least fluctuating self-esteem volatilities.
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