How often have you found your head screaming ‘no’ and your mouth articulating ‘yes’?
Saying ‘no’ when you actually mean ‘no’ will not only boost your confidence, it sends a message to those around you that your time and energy is just as valuable as theirs and is to be respected.
You probably, as you’ve gone through life, been bombarded by peoples requests. They want to take up your time, want to sell you something and they want you to go and do something that’s not really intuitively what you want to do.
Did you have difficulty saying ‘no’ and felt obligated to them? Have you felt distracted from doing what you really want to do? And did you find yourself not having the courage or the skills of articulating “Thank you, but no thank you”?
If you’re having difficulty saying ‘no’ to people that are vying for your attention and distracting you from what’s really important to you, here’s some ideas:
“Every decision you make in life is based on what you believe will give you greatest advantage over disadvantage in life.”
If you have difficulty saying ‘no’, it’s because in that moment you are assuming that if you say no there’s going to be more disadvantage than advantage.
The Reason why you don’t say NO
The reason why you feel guilty is: you’re assuming there is going to be more drawbacks than benefits if you say no.
So how can you be prepared if the same person were to ask you again and distract you again from what is important to you?
Writing the benefits to them of ‘Saying NO’
Make a list of what the benefits would be to them if you say ‘no’.
And write down what would the drawbacks be to them if you say ‘yes’.
Keep on stacking up on the benefits of saying ‘no’ and the drawbacks of saying ‘yes’.
Once the benefits of saying ‘no’ and the drawbacks of saying ‘yes’ adds up to more advantage over disadvantage to say ‘no’ rather than saying ‘yes’ – you will have no problem doing it!
If you take the time to truly see how it serves them in every aspect of their life, not just their immediate needs, you might just help them get back into fair exchange of valuing other people’s time.
“If you can’t say no to other people, you can’t say yes to things you are dreaming about.”
When you master the art of valuing your time and high priorities that are inspiring to you, other people will:
- Respect you
- Value your time more
- Consider asking in a more fulfilling way.
You will end up having more freedom to be truthful to yourself. And if you do say ‘yes’ then they will know it’s not because you feel obligated or guilty, but rather that you really want to do it.
If you are in integrity you are helping them to be more masterful and yourself to be more masterful in life.
There are many ways to say ‘No’.
You can say it very tactfully or in some cases you may say it bluntly.
Don’t be afraid to be in integrity, to say ‘no’ to people and give yourself permission to do what truly most important to you.
If you’d love to learn more about how to master your daily goals consider Dr Demartini’s online learning program: Day of Mastery.
Start each week with a boost of inspiration from Dr John Demartini. To receive your Monday inspired quote click HERE.