In part 2 of this special 3-part series, Dr Demartini shares five practical tools to help you increase the probability of achieving your true objective goals and doing something magnificent with your life.
In my previous blog, Part 1 of this special 3-part series, I expanded on what I believe are the key differences between objective goals and fantasies, and why living by your highest values results in a higher likelihood of achieving your more objective goals.
Today, I’d like to expand on this further and take a look at practical tips and tools that I’ve shared with thousands of people around the world that can help you increase the probability of achieving those more meaningful and objective goals.
If you prefer to watch the video, click below. ↓
Choose your goals carefully
To recap Part 1, it would be wise to set goals that are aligned with what your life already demonstrates as being high on your list of values.
If you can’t see how what you’re doing is assisting you in fulfilling what’s truly most important in your life, you’ll tend to procrastinate, hesitate and frustrate in your actions and thereby delay the achievement of those goals.
Document the date you set the goal, the date you would like to accomplish it, and the date you achieve it
- If you find that you achieve your goals sooner than you initially thought, you might be underestimating your capacity for achieving your more objective goals faster.
- If you find that it takes much longer, you might have been overly optimistic, didn’t think of contingency plans for potential challenges you might face, or perhaps that particular goal is not high on your list of values.
By taking the time to look back and find out when you actually achieved the objective goal versus the date you planned to achieve it, you can learn to set real, more meaningful and objective goals with realistic timelines.
If you see that your life does not show evidence that you’re making progress, you can then reassess that goal and your commitment to it, and whether or not it’s an objective goal or a fantasy.
Find someone to hold you accountable to your goals, even if that individual is you
I had a wonderful mentor, Monty Pendleton, with whom I used to have lunch every month about 30 years ago. Each time we met, he would say, “John, I have a list of your goals here – what’s the status?”
Every year, he would question me even further on some of the goals I’d written down by asking if they were real objective goals or just transient fantasies that I’d written down and forgotten about.
I found those regular meetings were both valuable and helpful in keeping me accountable. I’m certain that if you don’t have somebody you respect holding you accountable, and you don’t hold yourself accountable, the probability of you forgetting or dismissing your goals is much higher.
I was also in a mastermind group in Houston, Texas many years ago, where the only way to stay in the group was to get done what you committed to weekly. At the end of each meeting, you were accountable to present what you committed to getting done between then and the following week. If you didn’t get it done, you were out.
That extremely high level of accountability worked in two ways – it made you think carefully and strategically about what you were willing to commit to, while also increasing the likelihood of your achieving it.
Accountability can be a key factor in achieving your true goals.
Seven questions you would be wise to ask yourself every day
If you write these seven questions down and answer them every day, I am certain that you’ll get more done, set more realistic, strategic and objective goals that are aligned with your highest values, and create fewer fantasies.
- What is it I’d absolutely love to do in life?
- How do I get handsomely paid to do it?
- What are the highest priority action steps I can do today to make it happen?
- What obstacles might I run into and how do I solve them in advance?
- What worked and what didn’t work today?
- How can I do it more effectively and efficiently from the feedback from what worked and what didn’t work?
- How is whatever happened today helping me achieve this goal?
Again, a fantasy is a one-sided outcome – something that is not linked to your highest value, something that hasn’t been broken down into smaller more manageable bites, something that has little means to build momentum, and something that you may be reluctant to metric.
I believe that when people love doing their work and they’re inspired and engaged at work, they love to be measured. When people aren’t inspired by what they do and when it is low in their values, they tend to dislike being measured.
A sign that you have a more balanced and objective goal and not a one-sided fantasy is that you love measuring the outcome and seeing how much closer you are to reaching that goal.
Keep a close eye on your language
If you hear yourself saying, “I should”, “I ought to”, “I’m supposed to”, “I got to”, “I have to” or “I must achieve this goal” – it’s very likely that the goal is not aligned with your highest values. If you’re not inspired by it, don’t love doing it, are not making effort on it, not measuring it – I would suggest that the goal is not really important to you. It is an imperative derived from an injected values from some outer authority.
It would be wise to face that head on so you can quit pursuing fantasies that make you feel as if there is something wrong with you. You’re designed to beat yourself up when you set a goal that is not truly and intrinsically yours.
POINTS TO PONDER
If you have set a true and objective goal and not a fantasy, these are the most common character traits you are likely to display:
- Having a balanced or objective and clear vision;
- Being proactive in mitigating potential risks;
- Performing regular metrics and measurement;
- Breaking the goal into smaller bites strategically;
- Creating high priority daily actions aligned with the objective goal;
- Showing evidence of moving closer to achieving the objective goal;
- Feeling inspired and energized because it is meaningful to you; and
- Showing no signs of procrastination, frustration and hesitation.
If you don’t have those, you’re likely to have a fantasy and not a truly objective goal. As a result, you might tend to beat yourself up and miss out on the magnificence of some of the things that you can achieve if they are truly high on your list of priorities and values.
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About Dr John Demartini:
Dr. John Demartini, is a human behavior specialist, a polymath, philosopher, international speaker and published author. He has recently been awarded the IAOTP Top Human Behavior Specialist of the Year as well as the IAOTP Lifetime Achievement Award.
His work is a summation of over 299 different disciplines synthesized from the greatest minds in most fields of study today. His extensive curriculum focuses on helping purpose driven individuals master their lives so that they are able to more extensively serve humanity with their inspired vision and mission.