7 FEARS THAT CAN IMMOBILISE YOU AND KEEP YOU FROM BEING A LEADER
Human behaviourist Dr John Demartini discusses how to break through the seven most common fears and guilts that stop us reaching our full potential
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” – Thomas Edison
There are seven primary areas of life that you are capable of empowering and mastering – your mental, vocational, financial, familial, social and physical and spiritual areas or quests. Each of these areas can be empowered depending upon how more congruent your intentions are with your highest individual values and life mission and their cortical influence on your perceptions, decisions and actions relative to each of these areas.
There are also seven associated fears that can disempower or weaken your full potential in each of these seven areas. The difference between you doing what you love and becoming a master of your life and you not, is your ability to identify your fears and have a strategy to break through them or at least wisely utilize them and live congruently – and you forsaking this ability.
The first fear is the mental fear of not knowing enough. This fear can immobilize you and keep you from doing what you truly love. In fact, you have the capacity to do whatever you dream of doing, regardless of the level you’re at now, or the level you are planning to grow to next. You attract opportunities according to your level of knowing. As you know more, you grow and empower more. By loving yourself even when you don’t happen to know something that is lower on your list of values, you can liberate yourself to learn even more. Whatever is truly highest on your list of values is where you efficiently learn the most. And you know something most when you have a more balanced awareness.
The second fear is the vocational fear of failure. You must be able to love your illusive perception of failure as much as your illusive perception of success since you probably perceive yourself to shamefully fail and proudly succeed equally and constantly and both act as feedback loops to help you ever refine your more balanced daily actions. Have you ever set yourself goals and yet haven’t managed to fulfill them? Everyone does. Throughout your life you’ll perceive yourself to be a success and failure. Neither of them have to disempower you or distract you from your highest mission.
The third fear is the fear of financial poverty or loss of money. You fear that if you go out and do what you truly love to do, you won’t make enough money. If you love something and are committed to doing whatever it takes to achieve it, and you also truly value money, follow the financial laws of success and save, you can certainly build wealth doing what you love. By caring enough about humanity to discovering how you can most effectively serve others you can more effectively access your financial fortune.
The fourth fear is the fear of losing your loved ones. Many people feel that if they do what they love, they will either not have enough time for or lose someone they love. I think what stabilizes a relationship is not needing each other as much as loving each other. There’s a big difference. When you both have an independent and empowered life there is less of a fear of loss. If either partner decided to leave, the other would still be able to function.
The fifth fear, the fear of social rejection is a big one. Some people are not doing what they love because they’re afraid people will reject them. Actually, both acceptance and rejection consistently occur throughout your whole life, and the more extraordinary and empowered you become, the more you will receive of both. Learn to appreciate both equally. People come and go, they’re transient, but you’re with yourself for the whole journey – it’s your life. Never sacrifice the eternal for the transient. Embrace both sides of your social life equally.
The sixth fear is the fear of ill health, death or disease. Some people don’t live their dream because they’re afraid they will become ill or die if they do. But the greatest cause of illness, disease, and death is not being inspired and not living your dreams. That will kill you faster than anything else. Inspiration and gratitude heal and empower, and if you’re not doing what you love, you’ll feel ungrateful and desperate. Your illness may be you wakeup call to start living according to your true highest priorities.
The seventh and last fear is the spiritual fear of breaking the ethics of some perceived authority. Morals are the rules you impose on yourself, and ethics are the rules that others impose on you. Many people let those fears stop them from doing what they love and expressing their mission because they fear that others may not ethically approve of them.
You can break through or break down in all seven areas of life. If you break down, you’re listening to your fearful self, if you break through you’ve listened to your empowered and masterful self. But there will always be fears in your life. Fear means you’re growing and challenging yourself beyond your comfort zones. Your fear is a feedback response to assure you set more congruent and inspiring objectives.
I have fears almost every day, but I know that my fears are incomplete views of what is actually happening and are offering me great feedback to my incongruencies, or unrealistic expectations, so I identify my fears, bring them to balance, and then utilize or walk through them. I suggest you give yourself permission to do the same.
The 7 fears that can hold you back from living your most empowered and inspired life are as follows:
The fear of breaking the morals or ethics of some outside spiritual authority
The fear of not being smart enough, creative enough, imaginative enough or degreed enough
The fear of business failure
The fear of not making or losing of money
The fear of loss of loved ones or the respect of loved ones
The fear of rejection
The fear of ill health disease or death or not being vital, beautiful or handsome enough.
Fear is an assumption that you are about to experience in the future through your senses or imagination more pain than pleasure, more loss than gain, or more negative than positive from someone or yourself – all of which are illusions since the universe always provides a loving balance.
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