Even though we know binge drinking is a dangerous and often destructive habit, why would our peers look up to someone who does it?
When you have a clear, deeply meaningful, inspiring and focused purpose, or chief aim to strive for and fulfill in life, or at least something highly important to get up in the morning for and to achieve each day, you are less likely to be a candidate for peer pressured, teenage minded, activities like binge drinking. It is wiser to fulfill your day with pre-envisioned, high priority actions that inspire you; ones you can’t wait to get up in the morning and get moving on, than to allow yourself to be persuaded to react to irrational pressures from the outside crowd. Do you want to be one of the many sheep who foolishly follow, or the one shepherd who wisely leads? By becoming more fulfilled through focusing on high priorities you will have a lower probability of wanting to escape your unfulfilled existence and wipe out your previous evening by binge drinking. When you don’t have something productive and inspiring to lead your way through life – meaningful actions that also serve others – you will become more vulnerable to outer social peer pressures, hedonism, immediate gratifications and to seeking ways to be an alpha leader by something like binge drinking –the so-called life of the party. When you don’t fill your day with high priority actions that build your self-worth and well-being, your day can become filled with low priority distractions that can destroy your self-worth and well-being. Anyone that would dishonor you by encouraging you to become so extreme, out of control and potentially damaging your brain, health, career and social status, may not be the greatest and truest friend to buddy up or hang out with. Since your social circle can impact your life’s outcomes, it would seem wiser to surround yourself with those who truly care about your long-term mission, dreams and objectives and who desire to contribute to you and the rest of society in productive ways.
How does drinking relate to being seen as the “alpha” in a group? At work among colleagues, especially?
Being an alpha male can be demonstrated or expressed in many ways. Binge drinking is probably one of the least productive and most foolish of them. Leading the way in the form of productive service, rising to the top of some form of business, social, educational or spiritual influence and demonstrating self-governance and social contribution, could be a wiser use of your money, time, effort and energy. If you could look back at your life 50 – 100 years from now it might be wise to ask yourself if binge drinking is the key action you want to be remembered by and leave as your mark and legacy. The sooner you get on with what is truly most important and meaningful in your complete life, the more momentum you will develop and the greater you will make a difference in the world. Although drinking is one form of social interaction there are many others that you can be a leader in. It takes little education and minimal creative effort to be a leader of drinking, but it takes self-mastery to leave your indelibly mark across the world. The greater your cause, the greater your life will probably be. How do want to be remembered by?
The study finds that binge drinkers are more popular, but what about the converse? Are more popular people more prone to drink — due to certain personality traits?
The question that might be wise to ask yourself is who are you being more popular in front of or to, and in whose eyes? Being popular in front of, or to someone who desires to escape their unfulfilled life by losing control over their faculties and damaging their brain and body and possibly their future career may just be a foolish form of popularity. A once in a life time teenage experience is one thing – but a regular activity of immediate gratifying hedonism or debauchery is quite another. It is wise to stop and reflect on a larger vision of your life and think of the grander design and see if binge drinking is the wisest use of your social network, time, energy and money. Popular people come in all walks of life, from great achievers, thinkers, singers, dancers, artists, writers, entrepreneurs, and politicians etc., but it is unlikely that any leading binge drinker is going to be respected by many for very long. If you don’t plant flowers in the garden of your mind you may forever pull weeds. It is wiser to be filled with the whole spirit than to be fooled by the party spirit.
By Dr John Demartini – Founder of the Demartini Institute, human behavioral specialist, educator, international bestselling author, consultant.